When It Was a Game (Newbie Edition)

Apple Valley Rat Terrier Club, Westfield, MA
4/26-27, 2008
3 BOBs, Group 3, 85 points and one major

If you hang around the grooming tent long enough, you're bound to hear the old-timers waxing nostalgic for the "good old days" of dog showing. The sun was always shining, the judges were always fair and knew a good dog when they saw one, and all of the dogs and their owners were of better quality then. Why, to hear it told, every dog show looked like a Merchant-Ivory production minus Helena Bonham Carter. You have to hand it to the "good old days." Whatever realm they exist in, they always look shiniest when viewed through the scrim of a few decades' worth of nostalgia.

However, if there were a place on earth where you can revisit those "good old days" of dog showing, it would be at a UKC show. Compared to the highly organized and formal nature of an AKC show, UKC shows seem so relaxed and informal -- more like B matches with points than actual competition.

If, like us, you've spent all your show time at AKC shows, the informal character of a UKC show might even be confusing at first. Day-of-show entries? People building the rings before your eyes? Everyone cracking jokes with the judges -- in the ring? No hairspray? No brushes in the ring? No trophies? What kind of a dog show is this, anyway?

Two other things I found remarkable about the UKC shows: the huge number of juniors participating, and the number of rare breeds. The shows we attended happened to be hosted by a Rat Terrier club, so there were many Ratties in attendance who barked furiously every time someone walked by their vehicles. We also saw a Leonberger, three Bergamascos, and an amazing number of northern/spitz-type breeds I had never even seen before and can't identify without a much bigger breed book than the one I have now.

I don't especially like children (aside from my niece and nephew and my best girlfriend's daughter), but I lovelovelove junior handlers. They're always kind, polite, well-spoken kids whose parents deserve credit for recognizing the value of early socialization for both puppies and children. I enjoyed the heck out of the passel of juniors at the show, particularly the bunch with the Aussies. One of the Aussie crew, who came very close to taking a couple of Best in Shows, dropped by the barn to talk shop with me. It was an absolute blast to trade notes on movement with an 11-year-old who knew twice as much about the subject as I did. She admired Dinah's movement and asked to go over her. Her dog, Austin, was perfectly trained to respond to her in the ring -- and he never once lost focus. He wasn't the best-moving Aussie out there (which she herself admitted), but the two of them made such a great team that it was no wonder they picked up so many Group Firsts. They don't do obedience or canine freestyle, but they really ought to. The two of them are amazingly well synchronized; watching them show is like watching a dance routine.

Her mother, and some of the other parents of juniors at the show, raved about how much UKC supports the development of juniors and the family nature of dog events. At every show, juniors show first. This allows everyone who wants to, to watch the juniors in the ring before regular showing begins. In addition, juniors who are showing in the regular classes have time to get through Junior Showmanship before having to skedaddle to their respective breed rings, instead of having to juggle two show schedules at a time as they do at AKC shows. The relaxed environment of UKC shows adds to the supportive nature of showing in that venue, too.

Lots of kids, no professionals... this really does sound a lot like the "good old days." Still no sign of Helena Bonham Carter, though.

Larger shows probably run a little bit differently, but the rest of this event ran in a simple, logical manner. Each group was assigned to one ring for the entire weekend, and the judges rotated to different rings. Judges judge entire groups, first in their respective breed classes, and then in the corresponding group competitions. As in Canadian shows, the breeds within each group show in alphabetical order. The classes have different names, but work much the same way they do in AKC shows: puppies through Open, dogs before bitches. Because Dinah is just two years old, she showed in Senior (Youngster). The Open classes are for adult dogs over three years of age. Each breed judging even includes the Champion and Grand Champion classes before choosing Best of Breed.

Thankfully, I wasn't the only UKC Newbie there. Quite a few other people were attending their first UKC shows also, and we tried to pool our newbie resources to figure out points and navigate the rules. I shared a grooming space with a congenial owner of an English Cocker and a Tibetan Spaniel. The show was intimate enough that we had an entire grooming barn to ourselves, so we parked our Subaru Foresters nose-to-nose and set up around our cars inside the barn. Every time one of us came back from the ring, we clustered around our pooled collection of printouts from the UKC Web site to try and figure out where we stood, and to compare newbie notes. Go Team Newbie!

Like APDT rally trials, UKC shows are set up so that you can in theory (with enough competition) earn a CH in a weekend by showing in two shows a day, each day. In AKC, you're used to putting all your work and energy behind your one show per day. You go out there, do your very best, and then you either go on to groups or you're done for the day. However, at a UKC event, you have to do your best and go on to groups in two shows per day. The thing we found hardest about the experience was remaining fresh and alert for that second show each day. Seamus and I learned to overcome that in APDT rally trials. With practice, Dinah and I will figure out how to shine in two UKC shows in a day.

Unlike AKC shows, though, you can be the only representative of your breed and still be able to get credit for showing. It means that you have to earn the minimum of a Group Three to get credit for competition, but at least you're not wholly dependent on the number of other representatives of your breed to show up. There were three times as many Bergamascos as Beardies at this particular show -- funny thing to contemplate. Dinah did the "flirtation dance" for the male Bergamasco, but she performed the same dance for one of the white Standard Poodles and the red Border Collie. (Those boys must have been pretty special, especially the Poodle. Dinah prefers to flirt with Beardies, and apparently Bergamascos count.)

In spite of my usual stage fright and a wind that turned Dinah into a mop in the ring, we acquitted ourselves fairly well for the weekend. She picked up three BOBs and a Group Three. The Group Three constituted a major for Dinah because she beat the dog who picked up the Group Four -- and that counts as competition. I particularly liked that the judge referred to her as "my Beardie" when she placed her in the group ring. We almost picked up a second Group Three at the show, but one of the other judges sneaked both Corgis ahead of us at the last minute. We had been placed in front of a magnificent Beauceron whom I adored. In that competition, Irene and one of the Bergamasco girls took the Group One, not a minute after she whispered to me, "Ah, we won't do anything in here."

To become a UKC Champion, you need 100 points and three majors. To the best of the collective reckoning of all of us UKC Newbies, Dinah has 85 points and one major. Grand Champions require five majors, but I forget if additional points are also required.

Dinah and I were so fried after Show Number Three that neither of us could focus well enough to face going back for a fourth time. After the third show, she popped back into her crate in the car and plopped down, sighing, for an immediate nap. I didn't have the heart to make her go back out there again when she was so tired, and I was getting rather close to walking on my knees and talking gibberish myself. I went back to the club table, pulled our fourth entry, and brought us home instead.

So... we didn't finish our UKC Championship in one weekend as Maryann did, but no problem. This just means that we have to go back and enjoy ourselves at another UKC show (or shows) this year. Aw, shucks.

Oh Say, Can UKC?

Just before last year's Mohegan Sun shows, my friend Debbie (the one who owns Moxie) asked me if I were attending the lunch with the gang after the show. I hadn't heard a word about it, which is how I replied to her. Turns out that the owner of one of the specials, who has always been rather unnecessarily snippy with me, set up a luncheon for "owner-handlers only." Although all the attendees are friends of mine, I wasn't invited because Kathy shows Dinah for me. The organizer even went so far to explain that I hadn't been invited on purpose, for just that reason. She's had a hair across you-know-where ever since Dinah, as a 10-month-old puppy, beat her adult in the ring with me on the lead.

Sometimes the bitches at dog shows aren't the female canines.

Anyway, I haven't given up on the idea of learning to owner-handle entirely. Although all of the big guns and the prestige are in the AKC world, the United Kennel Club (UKC) is nearly as old and has just as long a tradition of conformation and performance events. Since UKC conformation is coming to Maine sometime and there are more such events in new England, I've taken the bait and registered Dinah with UKC. We've signed up for a show in Massachusetts next week, and are going there for the fun of it.

We're both rusty. Whatever happens with clumsy, bumbling me on the other end of the leash, it'll be good practice for Dinah.

I asked my friend Maryann about UKC. She showed her youngest boy in that venue last year and got his CH in a weekend. She's an experienced and successful breeder-owner-handler in AKC, and UKC lacks the "edge" for her that AKC competition provides. It's a great place for dufuses like me to do some handling, though, since UKC requires every dog to be owner-handled. UKC also has some other requirements I like: no overgrooming, chalk, or hairspray, and you can't use bait in the ring. (Dinah might not be thrilled about that last part, though.)

And Awayyyy We Go!

It happens like this every year: months of nothing, nothing, nothing when it comes to dog showing, and then all of a sudden -- BAM! Everything starts to happen at once. It's not that there's nothing to say during our "off season," but there's less to report because we're not showing.

Now that it's April, entries are open for the May shows. This coming Wednesday, I can even enter one for June 1. We won't be entering nearly as many shows now that all Dinah needs are her majors, but the ones we will enter should be good ones (if the majors don't break).

Speaking of broken majors, we received some good news/bad news about the York County shows coming up. YCKC is my local kennel club, and I'm on the show committee this year. I'm going to be freaky busy, and wasn't even going to enter Dinah until my friend Kathy offered to show her for me. (Different Kathy. "Our" Kathy, Dinah's handler, will be equally freaky busy at the Newfie National that week, so she can't show Dinah. Kathy-the-handler has so many dogs to show that she has one full-time and one part-time helper to help bathe and groom Newfies for the ring. Yowza!)

Here's the good news: We actually have enough bitches for a major on that Saturday! Hallelujah! I don't know how we managed to pull it off, but we did. Must have been the mention of the post-show lobster party that got people going.

The bad news is, I know that the major is going to break, and my hopes along with it. The owner of one of the bitches entered has a litter of baby pups at home. They'll be a week old tomorrow. Even though she entered one of the girls, she won't want to come to the show. All of the people she would trust to litter-sit will be at the show, and she won't want to bring home any possible bugs from the show to the puppies.

I would do the same thing if I were in her position -- stay home and feel bad about it -- but we were so close there! The first major in Beardies in Maine in possibly forever, and it's broken. BAH!

My friend Kathy will still show Dinah for me. Gracious soul that she is, she actually decided not to enter her bitch special (who went BOS last year to the magnificent Christopher) so she could show Dinah. Dinah needs the practice after taking an extended winter off. Our grrrlfriend Moxie only needs majors as well, but Debbie's bringing her anyway. We can commiserate about the broken major over a beer at The Weathervane after the show.

Entries in shows have decreased markedly, at least in this region if not all over the country. Much of that has to do with gas prices and the increase in cost of everything related to showing. Every year, the AKC releases the new point schedules for breed/region in mid-May. I wonder whether the number of Beardies to make a major will decrease this year to match the lower entries. For us, the YCKC show is the last show of the year where the old entry numbers still apply. We would have had a major last year if the show had only taken place after the middle of May.


Another Belated Shout-Out

...to Steph and Bowie. Bowie is Steph's Brittany puppy, and he appears to be growing up nicely. Go ahead and enter him in Vacationland, Steph. Even the most die-hard competitors in the breed are almost always gentle, gracious, and helpful with exhibitors in the puppy class. You could even persuade some friendly soul to go over him and tell you about his good points and bad points, and the best ways to accentuate the positive in the show ring.

It was at Vacationland 2006 where Judie went over Dinah at our second-ever show and did the same for me. We see each other at shows occasionally still, and I'll always owe her a debt of gratitude for telling me some truths about my dog and the realities of showing her. (She said some very, very nice things about Dinah, and warned me more about what competition with her would be like. It came true in some unexpected ways.)

Sister Act

Congratulations to the beauteous Buffy Burfitt (CZ and SK CH Breaksea November Mist, bunch of European performance titles after her name) for receiving her Czech Championship title, second CACIB (challenge certificate) and National Winner designation at the most recent show she attended. No one on earth works as hard with training and showing as Buffy's mom Jana, and both of them deserve a tremendous amount of credit. Well done, Buffy and Jana! You've done the family proud.

Pass the Ketchup...

...it's time to observe another historic ritual of the dog-showing season: the Eating of the Entries. At least entries don't have any calories, dammit.

Our latest $60 snack comes from the Springfield shows happening the first weekend of April. Last year, there were majors both days. We knew going in that most of the big guns would be showing in North Carolina at the regional down there instead, but we had hoped there would be more stay-at-homes than there actually were. I'm genuinely happy for the nice folks in the Carolinas Bearded Collie Club that they're drawing people for their show -- and it should be a very nice show indeed -- but it does mean that those entries had to come from somewhere.

Now that Dinah has 14 points and needs her two majors, it's likely that we'll be eating a lot of entries this year, or not entering shows where the likelihood of majors is iffy. Last year, we'd enter if there were a slight possibility of enough bitch entries. This year, not so much. If we're not reasonably certain that enough dogs will show up, we won't enter -- and if we do enter and there aren't enough entries, we won't go.

In a way, it's a shame -- the shows least likely to command majors are the ones we really enjoy. Those include the smaller outdoor shows put on by our local kennel clubs, most of the shows in Fitchburg (where Dinah shows well), and pretty much anything that we can day-trip to. With the cost of gas and the cost of entries and the cost of freakin' everything else, we're going to have to rethink the concept of "entering just for the fun of it."

(Not that I myself will be missing out on those shows, mind you. The local stewards all know I'm not showing at the smaller shows, and already I'm starting to field requests to play ring steward anyplace where we're not entered. I fly solo for the first time at the Vacationland shows in mid-May. If you're in my ring, be gentle with me.)

I'd much rather enter a show where we can have fun. Some of my friends who have been showing for a long time speak wistfully of days when everybody would group together to build majors in their breeds, and they lament the lack of esprit de corps among exhibitors these days. I'm not sure it's so much that people are only in it for themselves as that gas was under $1 a gallon in those "good old days" of fairly recent memory. People could afford to enter more shows, even if just to do a friend a favor.

For Dinah and me, this also means that we'll be doing much of our showing this season in Springfield. Springfield has never been good to us, and my heart sinks just a little every time I enter a show there. Dinah doesn't like it there, and even on the days when she shows well, we have never, ever, ever won. Really, I don't think it's my attitude -- even when we're excited, happy, and she's doing well in the ring... we always, always get skunked. After last Thanksgiving's cluster, I'd be happy if I never saw the freakin' place again, and she showed as well as she ever has there.

The hardest part for me about signing up for an inevitable disappointment in Springfield is that it's easy to throw away $300+ on a single weekend. Even when trying to travel on the cheap, you still have to enter the show at close to $30 a pop, feed the car and yourself, pay the turnpike tolls, get a hotel room for the weekend (and we can't really share; Dinah just wants to play with the other Beardie all night -- especially if we room with Traveler), pay for the parking permit or the daily fees, pay the groomer or buy the supplies to do it yourself, and pay the handler or do it yourself. I have a good job, but we're not rich. When we don't come home with anything, we have essentially just blown hundreds of dollars and a weekend's worth of time.

Sometimes it makes you wonder whether the people who go to casinos and gamble for fun are really all that much crazier than we are. Dog showing even makes golf look like a bargain-priced sport. Some days I think that maybe a crack addiction would be cheaper.

The fun doesn't end with a dog's AKC championship, either. Know all those Multiple Best in Show winners you see strutting around the ring on TV? See all of the camera cuts to the wealthy celebrities sitting in the grandstand? It's not a coincidence that those fantastic winning dogs belong to people who are oozing money. It takes a lot of that old ooze to get a renowned handler for a well-bred dog and to send that dog on many, many road trips. Some dogs live with their handlers until they retire from showing, and don't think for a minute that the in-between-show conditioning/grooming/feeding/boarding is exactly a pro bono on the part of the handler. That's overtime work. Even though most handlers are careful to keep the financial outlay at a reasonable level, a small expense here and a small expense there do eventually add up to a bankroll. That's why the top show dogs have sponsors, whether corporate or simply a cooperative of individual co-owners who share the financial part of campaigning a winner. There are top-ranking dogs who belong to middle-class owners and owner-handlers, but the percentage is definitely lower.

Now, just consider how much fun it is to enter a show against a well-financed dog and a well-known handler. Dog showing is a democratic sport; you can show against that handler and beat him or her, but just as easily (or, arguably, a lot more easily when you're showing to a "face judge"), you can flush another few hundred of your own harder-earned bucks down the drain. I've waved bye-bye to my share, and then some.

Some friends of mine, with a great dog and a modest income, have decided to campaign their dog themselves on a limited basis, simply because their handler isn't as famous as the handlers she's competing against, and they're having trouble voluntarily flushing extra money down the drain for essentially the same results. At a certain level of competition, the dogs themselves cease to matter, and the "face judges" would be more honest if they would just examine the handlers' teeth instead. (If you don't believe me, watch a televised dog show sometime. When the winning dog gets picked, just listen to who gets the glory and the credit. "What a great day for handler Highpower Fancypants!") Small wonder most people stop showing after their dogs finish.

Will I campaign Dinah after we reach the magic CH? I'd actually like to, in spite of all my ranting above. Once the almighty quest for majors is over, we no longer have to limit ourselves to those few shows where we might see the requisite number of other dogs. We can stay the heck away from Springfield if we want to. We can even just show at all of the lovely, local, congenial outdoor shows that we have to pass by while we're still showing in the classes. At that point, we really can go to dog shows for the fun of it again. Kathy and I can get a little sun, enjoy the fresh air, and enjoy freshly charred fairground food for lunch instead of microwaved fairground food.

Conformation showing is not the only money sink in all of the dog world, though you rarely see bejeweled celebrities gathered in the mud and the rain to watch their dogs herd sheep. I was talking at an agility trial with a teacher who planned to delay her retirement as long as possible because she knew she wouldn't be able to afford to trial once she left full-time work. Don't even get me started on herding. When I was new to showing, I was thrilled to discover that a conformation entry cost about half the price of a herding trial entry, and you were guaranteed a spot in the show if you entered by noon on the closing date. "Luxury!" I thought. "Conformation people have it soooo easy."

I've had another freelance column in the works for quite a while now with the pets area of MaineToday.com, the online version of the Portland newspaper (no link because my stuff isn't up yet). It will be called "Dog Showing 101" -- yeah, I know that's not exactly an original name, but you wouldn't believe the number of search engine hits this blog gets for that very phrase. Anyway, at some point, I intend to publish a column on the subject of dog showing for cheapskates, in which I share some of the ways fellow exhibitors try to pare down the costs of dog showing.

If you have any cost-saving tips you'd like to pass on to a Dog Show Newbie, please leave a comment or send an email. You could end up in the funny papers!

Almost That Time Again...

Okay, the first entries are done. I've marked the calendars, arranged for a hotel room, and am planning to do the equipment inventory any time now. My friend Val has asked when I'd like to bring Dinah by for another four-step beauty treatment. We may still have three feet of snow on the ground, but when I let the dogs out for their first biology break of the day, I can hear birds singing.

Oh, it's almost that time again. It's almost dog-show season!

Hard to believe that the Princess and I haven't done the weekend grind since last November, when we showed at the Thanksgiving Cluster out in Springfield and came home disappointed. I'd be lying if I said I missed it, and I'd be lying double if I said I didn't.

This season's "shakedown cruise" starts on the 5th and 6th of April, out in Springfield. It's not our favorite venue, but we're going to have to learn to like it since the vast majority of majors are there (what few we have, that is). Since there's a regional specialty in NC on the same dates, all the heavy hitters (and thus most of the entries) will be down there that weekend. Even if we don't get enough competition to make a major, we can still use the practice. Dinah will be so psyched to see Auntie Kathy again!

Would you believe I've already made arrangements for both National Specialties (US and Canadian)? The competition for rooms is so fierce that the hotels often sell out on the first day. I've reserved rooms for both shows and was lucky to get just what I wanted. Although I'm not 100% confident we'll make the US National, at least Kathy and I will both have someplace to sleep if we do go. As soon as the information is available for the Great Lakes club's regional, I'll be calling that hotel, too!

Now all we need are decent entries (and decent weather) for both of BCCME's supported entries this year: at the YCKC show on May 3-4, and at the PVKC show on June 21-22. My steward buddies are keenly aware that my girl is "pointed out," and have been secretly penciling my name in on calendar dates for shows that have low numbers of Beardie entries. I've already been asked to steward at the Vacationland shows. At least their head steward actually asked me first. I will probably be dragooned into stewarding at YCKC, if only because the chief steward doesn't understand the meaning of "no."

Still Another Public Service Announcement

On April 6, 2008, the Kennebec Valley Shetland Sheepdog Club (KVSSC) is offering conformation handling instruction in small groups, followed by run-throughs. You can even win a gift basket by entering the run-throughs!)

The morning group class runs from 9-10:30 AM and costs $5.

The run-throughs take place from 10:45 AM until noon and cost $5.

Location: the Buker School Gymnasium, Capitol St., Augusta, Maine

Registration in advance of each event.

Directions: From the north or south on I-95, take exit 109 for Augusta. Bearing right off the exit (17E) on Western Ave. Proceed through three traffic lights to intersection with Armory on left. At that 4th light take a right onto Capitol St. and take your first right into Buker School. Parking is down on the right and enter through the gymnasium entrance.

Chair: Please contact Phyllis Spires (207-474-3766) or Colleen Golding (207-453-2631) woodlandfarm@ prexar.com for more information.

Jog-a-Dog

Okay, I admit it. I used to laugh like crazy at some of the videos shown between group competitions during the TV broadcasts of Westminster, Eukanuba, and other big dog shows. In particular, I'd point and giggle at the videos showing top show dogs jogging on their very own doggie treadmills in order to stay in shape for the show season. "Geez!" I'd exclaim. "What kind of fanatic do you have to be in order to put your dog on the treadmill instead of yourself?!"

Well, after the winter we've had, I'm beginning to come around to the idea. One might think that weekly agility classes would help keep both of us in shape, but that assumes that class hasn't been canceled because of snow. I think we've had more snowstorms than we have had classes this year!

We do own a (human) treadmill, but for reasons I just can't get into, I refuse to use it. Let's just say that exercising over at the town dump -- er, I mean transfer station -- would be a neater and more aesthetically pleasing experience. I even went out and bought a membership at the new gym in the next town, but they aren't even opening their doors until April.

The plain fact is, we're both out of shape. With the dog showing season more or less right around the corner, we have some catching up to do. We can't really run around outside -- Dinah's less than 2 feet high, and we still have 3 feet of snow on the ground (and we used to have 4!). I can put on snowshoes, but I'd lose Dinah in the snow. Walking on the side of the road is dangerous on a good day; the roads are narrow, the snowbanks are still above my head, and the drivers are crazy and inattentive. We'd get wiped out at some corner by the next pickup-truck-load of teenyboppers before you could say "oops."

At least now that we're into Daylight Savings Time, we might be able to get down to the beach during daylight, even on a work day. All we have to do is get there at low tide.

It doesn't so much matter whether I'm in shape for dog showing, but I sure could stand to lose some (more than some) poundage and build up my stamina for agility. Dinah needs to lose a little and to firm up after a winter of limited activity. If we hope to finish the girlie, she needs to be in condition! We don't have room for a Jog-a-Dog in the house, not even if we placed it right next to the other treadmill. Too bad, really -- we could jog together!

Still Another Public Service Announcement

If you live in the Topsham area, you're in luck, too. Thanks to Downeast Dog News for this one. Sorry, but this is all of the information I have.

New handling classes are starting in Topsham in mid-March (hey, that's Saturday!). Call 207-442-0190 for more information.

All in the Family

We're proud to report that Dinah's grandfather Tolly, otherwise known as Diotima Sea Wolf at Ramsgrove, won Best of Breed and the Challenge certificate (CC) at the Crufts Dog Show this past week. Tolly is a Champion in Finland, Sweden, and Norway, and the CC is one step toward his UK Championship. Congratulations to Tolly and "great-gramma" Wendy!

The Breaksea clan acquitted themselves pretty well at the show. Dinah's half-brother Sweep (Breaksea Masquerade) took 2nd in his class (Undergraduate Dog). Arty (Breaksea Allegro JW ShCM) took 3rd in Limit Dog. Dinah's dad Danny (Breaksea Evolution) took VHC in the same class. (Please don't ask me to explain the English system. I don't understand it even one tiny bit; I just cheer when any of our kinfolks win.)

In the Bitch classes, Dinah's grandmother and Danny's mom, Phoebe (CH Breaksea Imagine) took 2nd in Veteran Bitch, and Katy (CH Breaksea Devil in Disguise at Nellbrook) took VHC in that class. Finally, Dinah's aunt and Danny's sister Ellie (Breaksea Immortality) took 2nd in Limit Bitch. Congratulations to everybody, especially "grandpa" Alan and "grandma" Gill, Dinah's breeders!

If you think Westminster's huge, you really ought to see Crufts -- heck, I really ought to see Crufts! The show spreads out over 7 (!) buildings, and includes competitions and demonstrations of nearly every dog activity on earth in addition to conformation showing. The show is so big that it has its own bank and Post Office, medical center, and lost children's area. Oh, and did I mention the shopping?! Crufts is legendary for the quantity and quality of vendors for nearly every canine-related product on the planet. This year they've even set up multiple blogs and a Twitter feed! (Boy, I wonder if any of my publications would send me on a press junket to blog Crufts!!)

Another Public Service Announcement

If you live in the Kittery, Maine area, read on. Otherwise, feel free to skip this posting.

On Thursday, April 3, from 6-8 PM, Kittery Adult Education is offering a class on dog showing, both conformation and obedience. For the conformation part of the program, Karen Bruno (who grooms and handles Cocker Spaniels and Australian Terriers) will talk about dog shows and breeding. For the obedience part, obedience instructor Sue Walsh (who shows Cocker Spaniels in obedience) will speak about training and showing in obedience.

Cost: $10 for Kittery residents, $12 for non-residents.

To register, call 207-439-5896.

So a Funny Thing Happened...

Remember last week when I was called in to consult on a very delicate topic for Ask Dog Lady? Well, things get even better from there.

I did know that Ask Dog Lady was syndicated -- unlike yours truly, Monica the Dog Lady is a real, honest-to-goodness journalist -- but I had no idea how many papers run the column. Of course I saw the version on her Web site. When she sent me the link to the version on the Chicago Sun-Times' Web site, I was pleased. I also thought that was the end of it.

Next thing I knew, I received an email from David Simmons, a fellow Beardie owner who also happens to work at the same company I do. "YOU have been blogged," said the subject line. His email pointed me to an entry in his blog. It seems he saw this version of the Ask Dog Lady column in a Waltham, MA paper -- and he's in NC! Another friend from Salem, OR picked up the same article on Google Alerts and shared the link with the BeardieList. The whole thing is mushrooming -- wow! Monica never told me just how famous she is -- but I must admit I'm enjoying the ride on her coattails!

Wouldn't it just figure, though, that my 15 minutes of fame would be spent discussing dog poop?

A Couple of Related Shout-Outs

I had the pleasure of talking today with Bianca, a fourth-year journalism student at Northeastern -- so a shout-out goes to her. Bianca keeps a blog for her class, and she contacted me to talk after interviewing Monica. Monica suggested she talk to me next. (Thanks again and another shout-out to Monica for that!)

We talked about a variety of subjects ranging from old media to new media, from blogs to dogs to Web design to usability. I hope I answered her questions adequately, and that she has a good time writing the article. Thanks, Bianca!

Also... thanks too to Izzy Forman of 360i for sending me this Westminster-related video from Petside.com.

Dog Show People: A Field Guide

Someone posted this to the Beardie List this morning. I couldn't help but chuckle -- so you enjoy, too.

Dog Show People -- A Field Guide

This is Another Public Service Announcement

I read the Google search phrases, and I know you've been asking, so...

Show Handling Classes in Westbrook, ME

Saccarappa Obedience Club is offering Show Handling classes with Penny Cary starting on Thursday, March 13. Class sessions run for 6 weeks, and are held at the Westbrook Armory, Westbrook, ME. For more information or to register, call Evelyn at (207) 284-4093.

Penny's Web site lists the different classes she teaches around southern Maine and the different session dates.

Show Handling Classes in Raymond, NH

Bo-Gee is offering show handling classes with Patricia Barrett on Thursday evenings at 7:30 PM, starting March 6. the course runs 6 weeks. If space is available, drop-ins are welcome at a cost of $15 per dog.

See Bo-Gee's Web site for all the details.

Show Handling Workshop in Lincolnville, ME on March 16

Sue Morlan, who is a UKC (United Kennel Club) conformation judge, is offering a workshop on show handling at Wag It! Sports Camp in Lincolnville. FMI, email Sumac or visit Wag It's Web site.

Show Handling Classes in Bangor, ME

The Penobscot Valley Kennel Club offers show handling classes at Pet Quarters on Stillwater Avenue in Bangor. Price: $7.00 per class.

Private Show Handling Classes in Kennebunk, ME

Tracy Shaw is offering private handling classes at Diamond Dream Dog Center in Kennebunk, ME starting on March 7. Send her an email or call 207-985-6985 to set something up.

Dinah and I took group handling classes with Tracy, and we learned a lot. We also met fellow show people from the area and created an instant cheering section for all of the dogs in the class! Of course, we went on to work with Kathy later on, but our early training in the class was invaluable for both of us.

Westminster: It Ain't for Sissies

Congratulations to Uno the Beagle and everyone else who won at Westminster! I've recorded both nights of the show to my TiVo, and will enjoy them at my leisure soon. I came down with yet another nasty wintertime virus this week, and I've just been too slothful and stuffy-headed to enjoy much of anything aside from hot tea.

Dinah and I didn't attend the show this year. We didn't win anything big enough in the past year to merit an invitation, plus there's the pesky issue of those two crummy majors standing between us and getting Dinah finished. (Only champions of record are allowed to compete at Westminster.)

I know no one who reads this blog would ever think so, but there are folks who think that the show is nothing more than a bunch of overgroomed pooches and their equally overgroomed handlers prancing around a ring, pretending that they're doing something important. Those folks must have visions of these dogs and their handlers being whisked everywhere in gleaming black limousines tricked out with pink satin pillows. The truth is, though, that showing at Westminster is about as big a test of endurance for both dog and human as one can find in the dog-showing world.

Westminster is a benched show, one of the few such shows left in the entire country. Benched shows hearken back to the early days of dog showing, and to livestock shows before them. At a benched show, you and your dog are expected to remain in the benching area for a specified length of time. The public is able to come by to see the dogs up close and talk to their owners and handlers, and they can see a number of dogs of each breed all together in their various benching areas.

What they don't tell you -- at least, until you read all the rules in the premium list -- is that you're not allowed to leave the building with your dog between early in the morning and late in the evening -- as if there were someplace else you cold go anyway. The benching areas themselves are almost (but not quite) big enough if you're showing Chihuahuas, but if you have a large dog with a correspondingly large crate, you will have to stand for the whole time you're there. You're not allowed to have chairs. You can even hire security guards to watch over your dog, your crate, and your stuff while you answer nature's call. If that doesn't already sound like more fun than you can possibly stand, remember that the show is held in Madison Square Garden in February. The doors are closed, the heat's on, and there isn't a blade of grass for miles around. You can just imagine what the place smells like.

Oh, and did I mention the crowds? How many times can you repeat, "No, this is a Bearded Collie. The Old English Sheepdogs are over there. Yes I do know that it doesn't look at all like Lassie. Yes, my dog can see just fine. Yes, I do have to brush her a lot." I can see where throat lozenges and bottled water might be precious commodities after a few hours of that.

Let's face it, the benching area is a rough place to spend a day, or even two. Having to stay on display in the benching area for hours before and hours after you show is a real strain on both your dog and you, and you both deserve a ginormous amount of credit if you can get through all that and still find the energy to make a decent showing in the ring. They should give out survival awards to every entrant.

Why do it, then? Westminster is the Big One, the longest-running dog show in the country, the Great Kahuna of Shows. If you and your dog are tough enough to take the strain, you'll meet up with some of the winningest dogs in the country and some of the biggest names in dogdom, living legends and legends-in-the-making. A breed win there, or an Award of Merit, is a singular honor -- and a group placement guarantees you a place in Westminster history.

We've never had occasion to show in a benched show. As I said above, there aren't very many of them left in the country, and it's possible that Westminster is the closest benched show to where we live. Would we go if we could? I honestly don't know. I guess we have to finish first and then see what happens.

Just for fun, here are a couple of entertaining links to posts about the Westminster show:

A non-show spectator's view of the 2005 show

Westminster 101, from someone who has exhibited there multiple times

The #1 Authority on #2

Do you have a dog-related question? At a loss for what to do in a dog-related situation, or just curious about something on the subject of dogs? You can always turn to Ask Dog Lady for advice that is both humorous and helpful. Her Web site design is certifiably Wicked Sharp as well.

Imagine my pleasure when I found an email from her in my inbox this afternoon. She had received a question from a reader on the subject of dogs eliminating during a dog show. My reply, and her column on that delicate subject, appear on the home page of Ask Dog Lady. It's a timely query, considering that the Westminster Kennel Club show takes place over the next two days, and the groups are broadcast on Monday and Tuesday evenings on the USA Network and CNBC. Best in Show takes place on Tuesday night immediately after group judging.

Dinah in the Snow

Struck Me Funny!

Usually, whenever something humorous travels around the email "circuit," I get 42 gazillion jillion copies of it from everybody I've ever met (plus a bunch I haven't). This is a historic moment, though: I saw one on the Canadian Show Dogs email list that I hadn't seen before. It's too funny and too truthful not to share.

Unfortunately, any attributions of authorship didn't appear with the original posting... so if you're the author, thanks for a terrific chuckle. I didn't write this, but wish I had.

Enjoy!

Dog Show Terms Explained!

Angulation-
Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress judges.

Balance-
(a) How to arrange the chequebook so your husband won't know how much
money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom
with the door locked;
(b) Ability to hold coffee, danish, leash, treats and entry form all at once.

Bitch-
(a) Name for a lady dog;
(b) Name often heard at dog shows, not always to describe a lady dog.

Blind Retrieve-
When you can't see the toy under the furniture.

CGC-
Canine Gastrointestinal Catastrophe {aka GAS}

Coat-
The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show.

Crabbing-
What you do when the judge doesn't like way your dog moves.

Dam-
(a) lady dog with children;
(b) expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring.

Distemper-
Shown by those hot-headed competitors.

Dog-
To chase a judge from show to show in an effort to attain more breed wins.

Double Bind-
Finding two toys under the furniture.

Elbow-
Method of getting to ringside when late.

Expression-
"Sweet" look adopted by dogs while staring ravenously at chunks of liver.

Fancier-
Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others.

Feathering-
What winners are accused of doing to judges' nests.

FlyBall-
Neutering.

Force Fetch-
Dog drops the toy under furniture, scratches at the carpet until you're forced to "fetch" it.

Front-
Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside of the ring.

Guard Hair-
An activity in which one watches intently as the dog's hair falls out, in clumps, just after entries are mailed.

Heel-
(a) what you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice;
(b) expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs.

Height-
As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 of an inch.

Hock-
A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewellery such as wedding rings.

Kennel-
Where you go when the kids fight and your husband yells at you.

Litter-
Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show.

Mask-
What to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago.

Muzzle-
What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night.

Noseprints-
Cute marks left all over your French doors.

Outcrossing-
What your husband tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch.

Overshot-
Running so fast as to pass the 1st place ring marker and plow into the judge and the stewards.

Pedigree-
Dog food with lots of great coupons.

Points-
Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes.

Puppies-
Small, dog like food-processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies. (These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with leaky systems, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts.)

Qualifying Score-
Justifying the 170.5 you got in obedience today.

Ribbons-
What you want to cut the other exhibitors into, after their pet wins.

Specialty-
Whatever your dog is good at, like bringing home dead cats or chewing on walls.

Type-
What your dog has... if you turn down the lights and squint a little.

Utility-
The kind of vehicle you need to haul around your dogs.

The Illusion of Warmth

We're going through a bit of a January thaw this week. Coupled with the fact that the days are a few minutes longer now than they were at the winter solstice, the almost-relatively-warm weather causes some of us to start daydreaming about spring and flowers in bloom and chirping birds and the Red Sox back at Fenway and... you guessed it... dog shows.

Not that I'm not enjoying the heck out of taking a break. Not showing is an order of magnitude less expensive than showing, which means I have more disposable income for stuff like agility classes and heating oil. I'm happy to be able to go to agility and rally classes on the weekends and be back home before lunchtime. It's just that this little spell of warm weather has me thinking of the year ahead, and what we hope to achieve, and some of the fun we're going to have.

Turns out I'm not the only one. I've been sending snow photos of Dinah to Kathy, whom I think misses the weekend show grind a little bit, too. There's a bit of a wistful tinge to Kathy's notes when she says, "Dinah's such a lovely bitch. I can't wait to show her again." I know Dinah will be overjoyed to see her Auntie Kathy again, probably so much so that we'll have to work to get her to keep all four on the floor for the first show of the year.

All the same, you know you've got it bad when you're sitting in Maine in mid-January, looking out at the snow and daydreaming about the National Specialty in California in October. I can't even believe I did this -- especially after the crappy results we had this past year -- but I even sent an email to Kathy asking if she thought she might like to fly out to Santa Rosa and show the Princess then. I can't believe she sent back an enthusiastic Yes! Likewise, we've already chatted about showing at the Canadian Specialty this coming August (subtitled: Dinah's triumphant return to Gananoque). Oh yes... we've got it bad.

Belated Shout-Outs, Belated Everything

Whew! Where did the rest of 2007 go, and why didn't I get anything done?!

Everybody's probably sung this particular song at one time or another, but the end of this past year was probably the quickest one on record. When I was on the early side of my week's vacation at the end of December, the possibilities stretched off into infinity. I could redo every room in the house, finish every knitting project for miles around, catch up on a decade's worth of reading, and save the world -- and all this before dinnertime on Monday.

Ah, the difference between theory and practice. I had great intentions of getting caught up with all of the writing work I planned to do on this blog, and got absolutely none of it done. Nada. Bupkus. Rien du tout.

Before I reach back into the past to finish off our tales of the dog show year, though, I really do need to shout out to a couple of people who have been kind enough to correspond, acknowledge, and/or say really sweet things to me. At the very least, I owe them each a wave and a message of thanks...

First of all, a very late, but no less heartfelt, holler to Barbara Rimoshytus and Rio the Papillon (Brookfield's Slam Dunk). Barb has been a reader of this blog for a while, and we've exchanged some fun emails about rally-o, showing, and suchlike. Barb is getting back into the show ring again after some years away, and Rio is off to a terrific start. He took BOB at his very first show, with a Puppy Group 4 and WD on the second day of the show. We finally met at the Thanksgiving cluster in Springfield, and Rio gave me some very sweet Papillon kisses. I am delighted to report that Rio got his first 4-point major in Springfield that weekend. His breeder has a WABR page up for him at Infodog.com; I don't know if you have to be a subscriber to see it. Congratulations, Barb and Rio!

One person I do wish I'd had a chance to meet -- and will make a point of it if we're both going to Bay Colony next year -- is Monica the Dog Lady, of Ask Dog Lady fame. Monica was the emcee for the Rescue Parade at the Saturday show, and I'm sure she's just as hilariously articulate in person as she is on her Web site, or in her emails. She said the nicest things about me and about this little old blog, and I must admit I'm both pleased and blushing. Julie Dennehy introduced us to each other online after the shows and claimed we share a sense of humor -- and she was right.

If you haven't seen Ask Dog Lady, just ask yourself: What would you get if Dear Abby and Miss Manners got together and had a puppy? Yes, she's that witty, and the site is that much fun to read. Go and enjoy!

Newbie's-Eye View: Welcome to the Show!

My friend Tracey is probably the closest thing I have to a mentor in the local kennel club to which I belong. I'd joined the club shortly after I acquired my first (and thus far, only) show dog, figuring that the best way to understand how shows work is to get inside the machine and help run it. She has patiently explained all manner of things to me over the past couple of years, from the history of the club to the joys of finding a show sponsor.

While I rode down to the show this morning, I emailed her to tell her where I was going and what I was up to. She responded, "If you haven't been there before, you are in for such a treat!"

She's right -- and if you haven't been to the Bay Colony Dog Show cluster before, you're also in for a treat. You're even luckier if you're going to the show on Saturday or Sunday, because all the best spectator events and exhibits are happening at the weekend shows!

So Where Do I Start?

Once you enter the show through the lobby, the first thing you should do is to look to your left and greet the nice club members sitting at the table with the show programs. The programs contain just about everything you might want to know about events at the show, including a map of the area, listings of all of the exhibits and demos and their times and locations, and extensive listings of all of the dogs showing in the breed, obedience and rally rings -- plus where and when each of them is showing. If you're here to see a particular breed or event, you'll want to dog-ear the Index of Breeds page near the front of the program and refer to it often.

It's not mandatory that one buy a program at a dog show -- there have been many shows where I've forgotten or haven't had time -- but the monies raised by program sales go back to the clubs to help them fund other activities -- such as the next dog show. Buy a program from the club table and consider it a good-karma donation. You'll make good use of the information it contains.

Next, locate the map in your show program. (I have the Friday program, and they all vary slightly, so sorry that I can't give you exact page numbers.) Dog-ear that page, too.

Look on the left page of the map, where it says Hall A. If you haven't strayed too far from the club table yet, you're already in Hall A.

Stuff You Need

The very first place you'll want to go is to the Pedigree booth. The nice folks at Pedigree have a huge black-and-yellow booth you can't miss, and the booth features all sorts of nifty things such as the computerized Dog Breed Finder. If you're wondering which breed of dog might be a good match for your household, give it a try.

I asked one of the women running the booth what sorts of questions the Pedigree folks were getting from newbie visitors to the show. She replied that many people ask about adoption, since Pedigree sponsors the Adoption Drive. (I can't even look at those commercials without sniffling every single time. I always want to pick all the dogs who say, "Pick me!".) She went on to say that many people also asked about canine nutrition and about selecting the right breed of dog for one's household.

The Pedigree booth hands out beautiful, ginormous plastic bags with some samples of their products inside. If you're planning to do any shopping at the show or pick up any literature, you'll be very, very glad you visited Pedigree first. (My three dogs were thrilled that I visited Pedigree first. The bag I received had samples of their products, including Marrobone biscuits -- a long-time major-league favorite in our household. When I brought my bag home tonight, my entire four-legged fan club mobbed the bag and demanded that I release the Marrobones held captive inside.)

Got your bag? Good. The next place you should go is to visit the American Kennel Club (AKC) booth not too far from the Pedigree booth. No matter what you'd like to know about purebred dogs, dog sports, show rules, laws affecting dog ownership, how to get started in dog showing, or dog events for kids, the AKC is your resource. The booth has the Beginner's Guide to Dog Shows, which explains a lot of the terminology and how dog shows work. This Guide might be useful for decoding some of the language in your show program (plus there's a picture of Beardies in the show ring on page 13!). The AKC booth also has Getting Started brochures on a variety of topics, coloring books for the kids, and publications covering almost any dog-related topic plus AKC magnets, bags, poop-bag carriers, pins, and a variety of stuff for sale. there's so much information available at the AKC booth that you're going to be very glad you stopped at the Pedigree booth first for one of their bags!

I was able to visit for a bit with Lisa Peterson, the AKC's Director of Club Communications. Lisa writes the Ask AKC column in the YourAKC online newsletter. She generously loaded my hands with copies of all of the introductory brochures AKC had available for newbies, including the Beginner's Guide I just mentioned. She'll be able to answer questions you might have on just about any dog-related topic. Tell her I said hi!

(Silly me -- only after we talked, and after I came home and went to the AKC Web site, did I realize that her breed is Norwegian Elkhounds. My uncle and cousin showed Elkhounds for years, and my cousin is still a head honcho in Elkhound circles -- I believe she's held office in both the parent club and in the Norwegian Elkhound Minutemen Association.)

Okay, I Have My Bag and My Information. Now What?

Still with me? Now it's time to go off and enjoy the show! Here's just a partial list of the things you can see and do at the Bay Colony Dog Show while you're there:

Find out where and when the Meet the Breeds exhibit will be. The booths will be staffed by various breeds of dogs and their people, and the people will be happy to answer any questions you might have about their breeds -- plus you get to visit with some beautiful dogs! If you're looking for a particular breed or type of dog, or if the Pedigree Breed Finder turned up a breed you might not have considered before, but might be a good match, this is your chance to go and meet some representatives of that breed.

Go watch the agility trial. Agility is a fast, exciting dog sport, and it's almost as fun to watch as it is to participate. This is a can't-miss!

Go shopping. Oh, the shopping! If there are dog lovers on your Christmas list -- or if there are dogs on your list -- you'll be able to find something for everybody at the many booths around the show. I indulged in a bit of "mercantile therapy" and crossed a few names off my shopping list while I was there.

Definitely go visit the public education booths in Hall D -- you can find them against the wall with blue backdrops. You can visit with various representatives from breed rescues and get to meet some rescue dogs -- especially little Denver the Old English Sheepdog puppy, his mom Martine, and Grannie Annie from New England Old English Sheepdog Rescue. There are also two lovely Great Pyrenees who are Delta Society-certified therapy dogs, a beautiful lurcher (greyhound mix) who looks as though she stepped right off a medieval tapestry, several lovable Goldens, and a group of 4-Hers who are raising funds to help victims of the California wildfires.

While you're at that end of the building, watch some of the obedience and rally trials. Some of those dog and handler teams make the sports look easy, but trust me -- a lot of work went into looking that smooth.

If you're at the show on Saturday, try to see the Rescue Parade in Ring 14 at 1 PM. Little Denver the Sheepdog will be there along with some of the other rescues from the booths, and the MC for the parade is none other than the Dog Lady, of Ask Dog Lady fame. Ask Dog Lady is a hilarious question-and answer Web site about dogs, life with dogs, and suchlike. I'm just sorry I missed her by coming down on Friday. Enjoy the festivities for me!

And of course, check your program and go cheer on your favorites in the breed rings!

All Right, Already. Can We Go Watch the Show Now?

Sure. Just a few things about watching the conformation showing, and I'll let you go.

Remember that Index of Breeds page in your program, the one I suggested you dog-ear so you could find it again quickly? The few pages immediately after it in your program are what's called the Judging Program -- and they're intended to let you know where and when a certain breed is showing, how many dogs of different breeds are showing before and after that breed in the same ring, and the name of the judge.

A note about times in dog-show programs: All of the ring times you see are start times for everything happening in that ring, not just the one breed you might be looking up in the judging program. For example, suppose that you come to the show on Sunday to see the Miniature Poodles. You check your judging program and see that they're on in Ring 10 at 10:30 AM, so you hustle on over to Ring 10 and you see Silky Terriers in the ring, not Miniature Poodles. Don't worry -- just recheck your judging program. 10:30 is the start time for the ring, but after the judge is done with the Silky Terriers, he has Shih Tzus and Yorkshire Terriers to judge before your beloved Miniature Poodles come into the ring. Just wait; they'll come.

When the Mini Poodles come into the ring, flip the pages in your program until you come to the Non-Sporting Group breeds. In a show program, the breeds are listed in alphabetical order within their respective groups. Under each breed listing is a list of all of the dogs in that breed who are entered at the show. You can identify which one is which by the handler's armband number. Boys show first, then girls, then Best of Breed.

Well, I've talked enough, and you now know what you need to know to get started. Go have fun and enjoy the show!

Later on, I'll post a chronicle of my own adventures at the show. There's just so much to say, but you go have your own adventures first. We can talk about mine later.

Newbies on the Road!

Yes, I know I haven't finished my post about Thanksgiving weekend, but I'm still not feeling too terribly thankful about it. I promise I'll get there. Let's just say that as season finales go, ours ranks down there with the last episode of "The Sopranos," only Tony at least got some crummy onion rings before the lights went out.

Anyway... A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from Julie Dennehy, the principal PR person for the Bay Colony Dog Shows. Turns out she reads this blog, and was wondering if I would like to attend the show and blog about it from the newbie's-eye view. (Hi, Julie!) The resulting article will appear here on Dog Show Newbie, and there'll be links to it from the Bay Colony Web site.

I thought about Julie's invitation for a few minutes, and then fired back a reply: "Weather permitting, count me in!". Julie mentioned that there would be a photojournalist from one of the South Shore papers down there taking candids, and that the members of the Ladies' Dog Club (hosts of the Friday show, which is the one I chose to cover) were wonderful to work with. We swapped phone numbers and contact information, and we're looking forward to meeting up down there at the club table.

(I might have mentioned that I've always had a soft spot in my shriveled little heart for the Ladies' Dog Club, ever since my very first Beardie got his first placement at one of their shows when he was a puppy. Dinah and I had a great time at their shows in Wrentham this past year, too.)

The next thing I did was ping Kathy, who asked, "So do you think you're going to do it?" I responded that I would, if Mother Nature made it possible.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to my very first blog post as a member of the (cough) press! If you go to the show, or if you just enjoy it vicariously through my blog post, please ping Julie and let her know. If she gets a positive response, this could be the start of a pretty nifty tradition!

Fun With Google

Dale really should work for Google. I don't know anyone who makes as much use of Google's ever-increasing array of online tools, or who gets so much out of them. Dale's the one who introduced me to Google Analytics, and now I can't stop going to that site and reading my site statistics.

For a long time, I thought that no one (except maybe Jana, who owns Dinah's litter sister Buffy) read my blog, Okay, Jana and Dale. Maybe Sue, too. Oh, and Kathy, of course. I didn't think I had much of an audience. After all, my other blog was twice as high in the Technorati ratings, and people left comments all the time.

Then I started reading Google Analytics. It turns out that this little blog has a small but devoted international following, and it's beginning to draw more readers than my other blog. What a surprise! Although my local friends and our faithful fans/family in the Czech Republic always rank #1 and #2 in visits, people are reading this blog from Turku, Nicosia, Managua, Cebu, Melbourne, and other corners of the globe. The globe, as it turns out, has a lot of corners!

The thing I found truly amusing, though, is the list of search phrases that people use in search engines in order to reach my blog. "Muddy pantyhose" always ends up in the top 10, even though I wore pantyhose to one show once back in May of 2006. The fun never stops! A lot of the inquiries -- maybe even most of the inquiries -- must come from people who also call themselves Dog Show Newbies. I get lots of inquiries about handling classes, stacking dogs, recipes for show bait, and the general "dog showing 101," "dog shows for dummies," and "beginning dog shows" type queries. Here are a few of my favorites from the past month, though (aside from the perennial favorite "muddy pantyhose," which again finished way up there):

compliments for a dog show handler
does Joseph Gregory judge dog shows in Canada?
exquisitely bitches (please tell me this one was for dogs...!)
it is plagiarism if you steal from yourself?
when does a collie dog go into season?
biggest butt photo (somehow, I don't think this one is for dogs...)

You do wonder sometimes what folks have in mind when they're entering the less obvious search strings. Maybe I'm best off not knowing why "muddy pantyhose" is so popular.

Note To Self: Pack Dog's Brain Next Time

Farmington Valley Kennel Club, 11/3/07: 1st, RWB

It rarely pays to get too cocky when it comes to dog showing. Just because your dog rocked the house at a certain show last year doesn't mean the house will react the same way this year. As a third-generation Red Sox fan, I'm used to this philosophy. But sometimes...

We almost didn't enter this show this year, based on the teensy-weensy numbers for the previous year's entry coupled with the low probability that there would be enough bitches for a major. Last year, a year-old Dinah went BOS on her very first trip in the ring with Kathy after having only met her an hour or two beforehand. We had a great time, and the memory must have stuck with us. In a fit of madness, I entered us for this year, just so we could have another win under the bright lights. We wanted a second try with the judge, who had practically begged Dinah to settle down and gait properly in his ring back in April in Springfield. He gave her second in her class back in April, but not Reserve.

This show must be a weird experience for even the most well-traveled show dog. It takes place in the arena at the Mohegan Sun Casino. The ring area is beautiful -- bright lights, quiet blue carpeting, banks of arena seats -- and it looks like a smaller, unbenched, better-smelling version of Westminster. The grooming area is a bit odd, though, as it's set up in the cramped, strange, noisy concrete loading-dock area for the arena. Unless you're driving in to offload your equipment, the only way to access the area is by shuttle bus from the parking lot. Most of the dogs seemed to be a bit weirded out by the bus ride. Dinah the princess, whose first ride in a motor vehicle on this side of the pond took place in a limousine, probably turned her regal little black rubber nose up at the tacky public transportation and vowed never to be seen on a bus again. The nerve of her dumb human!

Whatever she was thinking at this show, she wasn't thinking about the ring. If she had been on her usual game, she could easily have beaten both of the specials and taken Best of Breed. However, she just wasn't interested -- and she lost to one of the entries from the puppy class. (We adore Moxie, who is a nice puppy and had better use for the one available point than we did... but Dinah could have done better.) Moxie ended up going BOS to Riot's BOB, so it wasn't a good day to be a special in that ring. Dinah got Reserve (Best of Losers). So did Jake, which was equally surprising. Riot is a beautiful dog, but Jake is more mature and should have beaten him. Maybe Jake's brain was in the same place where Dinah left hers.

Kathy huffed when she exited the ring, "She was SO naughty!" Dinah apparently went back to her old tricks from last spring of throwing her feet around and making her gait look strange. She tends to do that at indoor shows, except the ones in Fitchburg. (I can't explain it, but Dinah likes showing in Fitchburg.)

At least the weekend wasn't a complete waste of Kathy's time, even if the Beardie contingent didn't exactly shine. Livvy the Newfie went BOS -- and this from a dog who really doesn't like showing indoors. Kathy also got to handle Dushil, the Borzoi she showed at Westminster, and he took BOB. She got to stay around the arena for several hours before the group judging/TV broadcast. I owed Daryl a lunch at Rustica for putting us up at her house, so Dinah and I took our leave and headed back to Woodstock.

I looked all over Daryl's house to try and find Dinah's brain, but it wasn't there. I definitely left it at home. You can bet I'll have it packed first thing when we head out to Springfield for the Thanksgiving Cluster. Majors all three days -- no pressure there!

The Road to Hell is Paved with Broken Majors

Garden State Bearded Collie Clan Regional Specialty

Ramapo Kennel Club, 10/14/07: 1st, Winners Bitch, 2 points



Actually, things aren't as bad as the title makes them seem. I just liked the phrase.

Kathy's handling a Newfie bitch who doesn't care for indoor shows. Not that I blame her -- outdoor shows are always much more fun in good weather. The problem is, unless you're lucky enough to be showing in California, you're pretty much stuck spending some percentage of your show career at indoor shows every year. Here in New England, the outdoor-show season only runs from May to September, with very few shows at all between January and April. Gather ye rosettes while ye may. Ye only get 5 months of the year in which to do so outdoors.

Because Livvy doesn't like indoor shows, Kathy was trying to show her at as many outdoor shows as she could before the end of the season. She'd picked the mid-October shows at the Ramapo Kennel Club in New Jersey as Livvy's seasonal grand finale. In order to ease the financial burden on Livvy's owners and make better use of her time, Kathy asked her regular Beardie clients (Deb, who owns Jake, and me) if we wanted to show at Ramapo. The only hitch was that Kathy's van only holds two crates, and she was taking Livvy and Jake as "sleepover clients." Dinah never camps over with Kathy -- we always meet her at the shows -- so if I wanted Dinah to be in the show, I had to drive her down there.

I think I might have said no a couple of times, but I honestly don't remember. I was hosting a fun match at my house that weekend... I wanted a weekend off from showing, especially after that dismal Specialty... and so on. No matter what I said in protest, I did eventually enter Dinah in the show, found us a hotel room, and blew down there from the fun match at the earliest possible moment. The entire time I drove southward, I kept asking myself, "Why am I doing this?"

That question melted away when I reached the fairgrounds that next morning, though. The Essex County Fairgrounds are beautiful, and huge by East Coast standards. As a member of my local kennel club, I felt jealous looking at the beautiful site that Ramapo had available.

Even though the entry wasn't huge due to the show's date one week after the National, the folks who gathered there were fun, congenial, and happy to be showing in the sunshine. I saw old friends whom I'd seen every day of the previous week, and more whom I hadn't seen in ten years. The Garden State Bearded Collie Clan knows how to throw a party -- they had scads of wonderful trophies, a potluck lunch for all the exhibitors, and the most upbeat gang of folks to hang around with. I had completely forgotten to grumble.

Dinah showed for Kathy as well as she ever has in her little Bearded life. She gaited, she baited, and she behaved perfectly. The judge made it plain that he liked her, and gave her first in Open and Winners Bitch. She would have had her first major, too, if only one more bitch had shown up. She ended up not taking Best of Winners, but we know the lovely puppy boy who did get BOW. He did get a major that day, even before he beat Dinah.

What a showing it was! Karen Bowens, the wonderful handler who took Dinah into the ring at National Capital, ran up and gave me a huge hug. My friends pounded me on the back and jumped up and down. Even the big-time handlers and show folks whom I'd always been a little too shy to say much to came over and congratulated me. We ended up with some lovely swag, including a couple of big rosettes, a handmade jewelry box, and an engraved pewter plate.

Kathy had to show again shortly after the Beardies were done (I forget if she took Livvy or picked up a Borzoi to handle, or both), so we agreed to set up an appointment for a photo with our judge for later in the day, when he was done judging toy breeds and she was done with her other handling assignments.

I think we underestimated the number of Toys at that show, though. We waited at ringside while the judge went through billions of Papillons, gazillions of Pomeranians, kajillions of Chihuahuas of all coat lengths... and so on. Of course, every single one of the demanded a photo immediately afterward, too, so we couldn't get him to join us until after all of them were done.

Not that watching the goings-on wasn't fun. Kathy and I watched one Pomeranian handler who went into the ring without her armband, and who had to be chased down and properly outfitted by the ring steward. The judge patiently explained to the Pom's handler how to set the dog up, how to move... somehow, it looked familiar...

After a few minutes of this, Kathy turned to me and asked, "Could she be... a Dog Show Newbie?"

(Now that my official title belongs to someone else, what should I do about my blog? "Dog Show Old Crabby Jaded Grizzled Veteran" doesn't quite fit.)

Finally, after the gazillion kajillionth Toy had been properly photographed, we secured our judge. He seemed tired, but relieved to be guided out into the sunlight again. We took our photo -- one of the nicest ones we've taken -- and headed for home. I'm not entirely sure how we got there, but I think we floated.

And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

BCCA National Specialty, October 4: made the cut



I've always enjoyed going to our national specialties. I get to see people I only see every year (or every few years), smooch hundreds of Beardies and watch them grow up, attend a few raucous dinners and one fabulous gourmet meal, shop for everyone on my Beardie Christmas list, and offer up my services as cheap labor for the performance events. That part's a blast.

Dinah had lots of fun at the show. She and her buddy Angus had some glorious bed-bouncing sessions and WOOF wrestling matches...



As far as the showing part goes, someday I'll learn to adjust my expectations. Since Dinah won Best Puppy in Show at the Canadian specialty last year, I've been waiting and hoping for her to do something really stellar at one of our US shows. Last year, her breeder was the judge, so we couldn't enter. We did place 4th in the Regional on the previous day, and made the cut in Sweeps.

This year, we were psyched to be showing to a "movement judge." Dinah has plenty of that, and Kathy was really looking forward to putting the princess through her paces. Although one of Trav's breeders was handling him in the ring, Kathy had four doggie clients for the show: Dinah, Jake, Isaac (in his first appearance in quite a while), and Bliss.

Jake came in fourth in Open Dogs (Rowdy Blue took first place with Debbie handling and Dinah's cousin Widget (Breaksea Boddy's Brew) came in third. The judge had seemed impressed with Jake and had placed him first, but changed her mind and shuffled him to the back while making her final placements.

Kathy and I hoped that Dinah might fare better. We felt encouraged when the judge spent quite a bit of time telling Kathy that she liked Dinah, and that she wanted to like her as much moving as she did standing. Kathy and Dinah did as they were told and moved all over that ring, even going back and forth underneath the tent while waiting their turn -- as the judge had instructed.

My friend Lisa breathed, "Ooooh, she likes her." I had forgotten to breathe.



Dinah ended up making the cut. Because the Open Bitch class was so large, the judge had divided the class in two, made her selections from the first class, and then judged the second half. After making her selections from the second half, she called in all the bitches from the first half, but apparently forgot that they were in the ring. She eventually picked the dog who had paid the least amount of attention in the ring, who had to be gaited over and over again before settling, and who wasn't any great shakes in the presentation department.

I was glad for her owner, who is a dear friend, but less than impressed at the final choices. We genuinely felt we'd been robbed, after Kathy and Dinah did all that work in the blazing heat just to be forgotten. Gill, Dinah's breeder (who took the show photos in this entry) remarked to me later that she thought Dinah had the best movement of any bitch out there. Kathy was possibly more disappointed and shocked than I was. She still is.

Gill was philosophical. "Next year you should bring her to California. Wendy (Hines) will like her." She said this just as I was considering not entering another BCCA Specialty again for a good long while. The Canadian Specialty -- well, that's another story. We have to go back to Gananoque.

There was some good new to be had at the show, anyway, even if it wasn't ours. Traveler received the third Award of Merit at the show, and Rosie received one too (Sixth?).

This is possibly the first Specialty (national or otherwise) that we've attended in which we really did come home empty-handed. At least I bought a T-shirt.

From the Sublime to the Ridiculous

Ox Ridge Kennel Club, 9/22/07: BOW, 1 point
Northwestern CT Dog Club, 9/23/07: RWB


First, the sublime. I really, really wish that the Ox Ridge show had been a major, even though we knew going down that there weren't enough bitches entered -- so the absolute only way Dinah could have earned 3 points is if all the other class bitches had shown up, and Dinah went BOS over all of the bitch specials.

As it turned out, 2 of the other bitch entries didn't show, so Dinah wouldn't have made 3 points even for BOB. That's okay. We took BOW over Jake, who has beaten Dinah all the other times when they were both Winners. That felt nice, especially since Jake is a distant relative and a very nice dog.

The judge, Juan Carlos Ferraro, comes from Argentina. I had pinged my friend Pat, who co-owns an Argentine import, for an opinion on the man and his judging. She replied that she had met him at the World Show in Mexico and really liked him -- and to my surprise, she came all the way from Ohio to the show. Napo, the gorgeous blue Argentine boy, took BOB -- and should have. I hadn't seen him in a year, and I'd forgotten how stunning he is. Pat will be crying many salty tears when Napo goes back to Argentina with his other owner.

Anyway, the judge couldn't have been nicer. He complimented us all on our dogs, patted us all on our backs, and graciously took picture after picture. I'm not saying we would follow him to Argentina, but I'd show under him again anytime.

Next... the ridiculous.

In my brief time at dog shows, I've seen at least my fair share of "face judges," the ones who would be more honest if they would at least just examine the handlers' teeth instead of the dogs'. Whereas a "face judge" at least looks for familiar faces in the ring, a "back judge" just turns her back on the ring and lets dogs and handlers gait around it unseen.

[Editor's note: Hey, I know the rest of this post is going to read like the proverbial sour grapes, but after re-reading it, I figured it was safer to impugn my own reputation in front of my small but devoted international audience. Sorry, folks. The first draft was deliciously juicy.]

I began to have a bad feeling when I saw all the handlers clustered around our ring, laughing and pointing.

When it came time for Open Bitch, there were two entries. Dinah was one of them. The other one was a scrawny little dog missing half her coat, and who moved as though she were dog-paddling through a puddle of something unpleasant. She did have a "name" handler, however, as her only attribute.

My friend Deb nudged me in the ribs. "This'll be an easy choice."

Oh, indeed it was. The judge picked... the scrawny naked one with the big-name handler. Dinah got Reserve. Deb and I were both so shocked we just laughed. There wasn't much else we could do. I couldn't even nudge Deb back when the scrawny bitch got BOW over Jake.

I suppose I'm glad (in a way) that this judge didn't pick Dinah. I sure wouldn't have wanted the assembled crowd to be laughing at my dog and me!

Dog Showing for Dummies!

I've always been a major fan of the "Dummies" series of books. No matter what subject you lack expertise in -- whether it's knitting, Java programming, personal finance, how to buy wine, or any other subject... if there's a "Dummies" book available, then you're sure to get some great help and advice, delivered in plain English -- and perhaps best of all, the "Dummies" authors make the fine distinction between "need to know" and "nice to know."

When I first got started in dog showing, I lamented the fact that there really was no such book as Dog Showing for Dummies. There still isn't, if you check the book list at dummies.com -- but I have discovered the one book that genuinely qualifies as the best "Dummies"-style book for conformation showing: Raising a Champion by A. Meredith John and Carole L. Richards. The Holy Grail has been found!

This is the book I wish I owned when Dinah and I were first starting out. I've become somewhat of a connoisseur of books on dog showing over the past year or so, and each one has its particular strengths and weaknesses. However, Raising a Champion does the one thing none of the other books does: It anticipates practically every question the first-timer will ask, and provides each answer in plain English, with photos or illustrations, as well as a wealth of helpful hints. It's all here, from how to stack a dog (and recognize mistakes, as well as how to fix them), how to enter a dog show, how to read a judging program, ring courtesy, how to calculate points, and so on. It's all here!

If you're lucky enough to have an independent bookstore nearby, please buy it there. However, if you don't, here's the link to it on Amazon.

The Next Best Thing

The book that did help me get started was Show Me! by D. Caroline Coile, Ph.D. Like Raising a Champion, it covers subjects ranging from how to pick a puppy for show to how to fix ring-related behavior problems... to maintaining a grip on reality between the time you send in the entry form and the time you arrive at the show. The two things that rendered this concise and colorful book indispensable for me were the two bulleted lists on what to pack for the dog and for yourself. For the first few months, I didn't dare leave for a show without having the book open on the kitchen table, displaying those two bulleted lists. This book deserved the highest number of stars for its wonderful attitude -- practical, yet positive.

Here's the link to the book on Amazon.

Other Additions to the Bookshelf

I did own Richard Beauchamp's Simple Guide to Dog Showing for a while. (Here's the Amazon link.) Even as a rank novice, though, I found this one too simple to be of any real use. The book spends more time than the others explaining about the various breeds and groups and such -- useful to someone new to dogs, but not to someone who already has spent some time with various breeds, or who already has chosen a show dog. This is not to say that an absolute beginner might not find a lot to like in the book -- the graphic design and "handwritten" comments and captions give the book a delightfully informal feel -- but it's one you won't need to keep around for very long. I read my copy once and then donated it to the kennel club raffle table, hoping some other newbie would win it and enjoy it, and then pass it on.

Peter Green and Mario Migliorini's New Secrets of Successful Dog Showing is a terrific book (here's the link). It isn't as informative in the tutorial sense for the absolute newbie, but it does explain a lot of things you will encounter with a little exposure to shows (such as the various regions and their point schedules). The high points of this book are: whole chapters on stacking and baiting, with lots of photographs and examples, a comprehensive checklist of what to bring to a show, a great bait recipe (Liver Cake), and lots of interesting anecdotes about dogs these long-time show luminaries have handled or bred over the years.

I did find one boo-boo in the book: it states that puppies bred outside the US and Canada must enter the Open class for starters, and that is simply not true. You may show in Open, but you're not compelled to do so. The classes closed to foreign-born dogs are American-Bred (duh), Novice, and Bred By Exhibitor (unless, of course, you bred your foreign-born dog and are showing it yourself in the USA).

George Alston's The Winning Edge: Show Ring Secrets is not your first dog show book. (Here's the link.) However, it's the one you might end up keeping around for the longest time, or for good. It's the next best thing to attending one of Mr. Alston's notorious handling seminars, plus it won't make you cry. This book's prime focus, by its own admission, centers on the psychology of dog showing, and how best to fine-tune your own mental game. It's not the friendliest or most attractive tome out there -- the photos and the graphic design all make it look a bit dated, and it lacks the many helpful photographic examples of the Green book -- but it grows on you. It's definitely a book that you appreciate more with time. Buy it, but don't buy it first.

Ones I Haven't Read (But Would Like To)

While I was cruising Amazon looking for the links to these books, I noticed The Absolute Beginner's Guide to Showing Your Dog by Cheryl S. Smith. I don't have this book, so I can't review it adequately -- but she does cover subjects the other books don't (or don't go into in depth), such as "The Temperament You Need for the Ring," "Travel Time and Money," "Anatomy Class," and "Grooming for Success."

Likewise, I didn't find Lynn Hall's Dog Showing for Beginners until I was... well, no longer a beginner. I like the way she explains the hard realities of showing -- that you will be disappointed from time to time, that it is an expensive and sometimes political hobby, that "purebred" and "show quality" are not one and the same concept, and so on... but this kindly, practical tome is probably a good second book for the newbie. It doesn't explain about how to train your puppy or subjects like those, but it still comes across in the same voice a friend might use when describing the whole show game to you. It pulls no punches, however -- so be prepared to hear some unvarnished honesty. I enjoyed the excerpts I read on Amazon very much.

Pat Hastings' Tricks of the Trade focuses primarily on the dog: how to select one, how to raise one, how to evaluate one, and the role of structure in the show ring. I can't wait to hear what she says on these subjects, since The Puppy Puzzle should be required reading for anyone considering buying a puppy or breeding a litter. (Here's the link.) This book's other unique feature -- and one which I greatly appreciate -- is its emphasis on selecting the right equipment for the show. There's even a specific, detailed section on grooming tables! This book doesn't delve into the minutiae of showing from the exhibitor's point of view, the forms, the vocabulary, or other concepts bound to be foreign to the rank newbie. On the other hand, this is another book, like the Alston book, that grows more valuable on your bookshelf with time.

This One Goes to Eleven

Wachusett Kennel Club, 8/18/07: Winners Bitch, 1 point
Greater Lowell Kennel Club, 8/19: Winners Bitch, 1 point

Once your dog reaches the exalted state of being "pointed out," It's not uncommon to enter a number of shows in the hopes of finding majors there, only to get the judging program back with class entries of onesies or twosies. That's the stage that Dinah and I have reached at this point. No matter which decision you make about these types of shows, it's bound to be wrong. Basically, you have two options:

1. Eat the entries and stay home.
Advantages: It's cheaper than spending big bucks on gas and hotels -- plus you get weekends off!
Disadvantages: You still have to eat the $25+ for each entry. If there was only one other class entry, then your staying home might have cost someone else a point.

2. Go to the show and show anyway.
Advantages: What the heck, you've paid for it already. In addition, a win is a win -- and you might save the one or two points for your competition if you don't end up winning.
Disadvantages: If you win, you won't have helped the other entries anyway.

I s'pose if I had to state my policy about when to show and when to eat entries, it comes down to this: I'll eat the entry for any show involving a hotel stay. If the show is more than a couple of hours' drive from home, I'll wait until the judging program comes out before making a final decision. I'm more likely to bail on an 8:30 AM ring time than I would for one of, say, 1 PM.

Of course, if you're showing your own dog, you can afford to be a tiny bit more spontaneous when it comes to the question of "Should I stay or should I go?". Since Kathy handles Dinah at the shows, I need to do her the courtesy of making a decision as early on as possible.

Anyway... we've had to eat some more entries this season already. I'd entered the Springfield shows at the end of August in the hopes that if there would be majors anywhere during the summer, they'd be there. When the judging program came back, the breakdown showed only one class bitch: Dinah. Even if she went Best of Breed over all of the specials, she still wouldn't defeat enough dogs to gain three points. Pass the salt -- time to eat some entries. It won't be the last time we do this, either.

This weekend, I decided to show instead of eating the entry. Dinah does need to stay in practice, so not showing for several months just isn't an option. We have a National Specialty coming up, and we do have to perform at our best.

Dinah took Winners Bitch both days for one point each day. She now has 11 points, but still needs two majors. Heck, if we were showing in Canada she would have been finished on Saturday!