Little disclaimer here: This came from one of the dog showing email lists, and no one there knew who originally wrote it. If I ever find out, I'll post the attribution here. If you wrote it, please drop me a note so I can give you the proper credit. In the meantime, thanks to whomever came up with this in the first place!
1. After trying forever to obtain that elusive second major, you have no problem getting the third major the next day.
2. The Novice people who enter every show and drive 8 hours even if you show at 8am will not show up on the day that it is exactly a major.
3. If you try to build a major, the stuffer will win.
4. Your dog needs a major to finish. You drive 12 hours to a 3-day circuit to discover the superintendent erred in the count and you are one short of a major--and of course your dog is WD. You go home, as the next 2 days are not majors. You get a call Monday morning. The super erred again. The following 2 days were majors and your dog would have probably won, as the judges were great for him.
5. The day you leave your mud boots home because it is the middle of a drought, there will be 12 inches of rain.
6. Although every dog show has dozens of vendors, the day you forget your tack box will be the day the vendors have no show leads.
7. If you go to the trouble of checking out of the hotel before you show, you will not win breed.
8. If you don't check out of the hotel before you show, you will win breed and there will be no time to go back and check out before the group.
9. Your National is always scheduled 2 days ahead of your most promising puppy's 6-month birthday.
10. Your dog will totally blow coat one week before the National, and after you have paid for hotel, airline, banquets, etc.
11. The day you say, "If Buffy doesn't do something today, off to a pet home she goes!", she wins a 5 point major. Of course she never wins another point and all the pet homes have fallen off the face of the earth.
12. And, we all know about the now neutered puppy we sold as a pet and the littermate we kept as a show prospect...
13. If your dog does better as a follower, you will always be forced to be first in line.
14. And of course, if your dog does best at the front of the line, someone will have already beaten you there.
15. The judge you didn't enter under because he hates you/your dogs/your new hair style/whatever draws an overload and your favorite judge in the entire world picks up the overload.
16. Whenever the group judge is one that adores your dog, the breed judge will be the one that told you to pet your dog out. But, if you don't enter, refer to rule 15.)
17. A particular judge always puts up the dog for Best of Winners unless YOUR dog goes Winners Dog and there is only a major in bitches.
18. When you enter a small show that normally has no Specials, 5 of the top 10 dogs in the country will be there.
19. If you do win an easy breed at PoDunk, NoWhere, you will then learn that a dozen top dogs and their handlers have flown in from the furthest corners of the country and they're all in your group.
20. If you win the Group, you will discover that the BIS judge's all time favorite dog has just won its group and the BIS judge has already given it several BIS.