Sunday, August 16, 2009

But the Stories You Can Tell: Priceless!

This semi-oldie was gleaned from the BeardieList. I'm sure you can identify!

The Most Expensive Collar you ever bought? Why of course ..that very first show collar!

How it all began

In the Beginning...

You got your dog, a real show dog, and quickly realized that you needed the correct collar to show him on.

Which, in turn, led you to that wonderful buttery smooth three-foot leather lead.

At your very first show, you noticed that you just HAD to have the proper grooming supplies also.

  • Slicker Brush $9.00

  • Comb $10.00

  • Spray Bottle $4.00

  • Good Conditioner $15.00

  • Water Bottle $4.00

  • Pin Brush $15.00

  • Bait $10.00

  • NEW Collar (your dog has now outgrown that first one) $14.00

  • Chalk $9.00

  • Chalk Brush $15.00

  • Wella Kolestral $10.00


  • Bait $10.00

  • Dog show calendar $12.00 — don't wanna miss ANY shows now

By now, you're beginning to realize the back seat isn't a proper way to transport your dog.

  • Dog Crate for the car $80.00

At your very next show you, begin to feel a bit more confident and relaxed at dog shows. Borrowing and waiting to use your friend's grooming table is so inconvenient.

  • Grooming Table $95.00

  • Grooming Arm $50.00

  • Bait $10.00

You begin to start collecting dog show things: old towels, skirts with pockets, dresses with pockets, good comfortable shoes, rain gear, umbrellas, water jugs, etc. Price: At least $100.00.

Too many grooming supplies?

  • Tack Box for supplies, $50.00.

Good comfortable Camp Chairs $35.00 — we seem to be spending much more time at shows lately.

Suddenly you realize all of these items AND your dog don't fit in the family car anymore.

  • Used Mini Van $15,000.

Somewhere around this point you get tired of waiting to use your friend's blow dryer.

  • New blow dryer $150.00

  • Extension Cord for Dryer $15.00

  • Five-way plug for sharing electricity with your new dog show friends $10.00

  • New and improved dog show collar and lead $40.00

  • New type of improved Coat Conditioner $15.00

  • Bait $10.00

  • Your friend's favorite Shampoo and Whitener $35.00

  • New Comb and Slicker brush $25.00 (you lost the old ones at the last show)

  • Scissors $30.00 (kitchen shears just don't trim those pads right)

  • Muddy Show grounds..Roll up mat for covering ground $45.00


The hunt for majors begins.

After wasting much money on entries where majors didn't hold, you begin to get frustrated. You seek out and find that new male show puppy and a perfect match for your female!

  • Crate for new dog $80.00

  • Show collar and lead for new dog $50.00 (your tastes have been refined now)

  • Handling classes for new dog $40.00

The very first show teaches you that your minivan will not carry both crates and all your equipment.

  • Brand New Larger Mini Van $25,000.00

Now, having two dogs to show and get ready quickly teaches you a generator is required!

  • Generator $325.00

  • Two Dog Kennels for outside $1,000.00

Just gotta pick up one of those majors on your female Handler for those major shows: $200.00 (+/-)


Your new male is too young to breed.

  • Updating & Health Clearances on Female $200.00

  • Stud Fee $1,000.00

  • Progesterone Testing $200.00

  • Whelping box $250.00

  • Vet bills-x-rays, sonograms, well mother checks $400.00

  • Putting first aid whelping kit together $300.00

  • Vaccines for new litter $150.00

  • X-pen for puppies $80.00

  • Whelping pads, fleeces, toys for puppies, weaning supplies, etc $450.00

  • Baby Scale $45.00

  • Well puppy and mother exams $150.00

Spectacular puppy in litter will be new show dog. Immediately realize minivan will NOT hold three dogs and show equipment.

  • Motor Home or Full size dog show van $30,000 to $100,000.00! !!!!!!!!

You suddenly realize you are eating macaroni and cheese while your dogs are eating Human Grade Dog food at $55.00 a bag. Congratulations! You have now earned the title of "Dog Breeder!" Aren't you glad you are finally making those big bucks breeding dogs? So far you have invested $75,652.00 in showing your two dogs.

This figure does NOT include dog food, the initial cost of your dogs, entry fees, motel bills, general vet bills, toys and Many other ownership incidentals.

Your litter of pups yielded six puppies, you kept one and sold the other five for $500.00 each.

Congratulations — you just made $2,500.00 Breeding your dogs!

Now if you can just breed 30 or more litters, you MAY just break even with your initial investment of over $75,000!


Louise said...

I love this post! My husband and I just started showing our 18 month old Curly Coated Retriever and have already started buying new things for our next show.:) You have beautiful dogs, can't wait to read more posts!

Miss Muddy Paws said...

I love this post! I'll have to share it with a lot of dog friends!

used minivan said...

Hi, nice post. I have been pondering this topic,so thanks for writing. I will probably be coming back to your site. Keep up great writing.

Julie Moore said...

This was a RIOT! I am beginning to show my Basset Hound (after buying 3 dogs thinking that they were "show quality" and finding out they're not!) I now have 5 hounds and just one may be a champion! Found your blog while surfing for "dog show" vans!