Flying Solo and My Bag of Rocks

Vacationland Dog Club, 5/17/08

Something strange is afoot in the universe. The world has tilted on its axis, and the stars are aligned in curious configurations. The weather at Vacationland this weekend is absolutely gorgeous, and it poured mercilessly on the York County shows. In a normal year, Vacationland is six inches underwater, and the mud in the rings has been known to pull shoes from exhibitors' feet. Apart from the Great Monsoon of 2005 (about which the club old-timers still speak in hoarse whispers), the YCKC shows generally take place in halfway decent weather. This year, everything turned upside down.

It wasn't because of the weather that I didn't enter Dinah in Vacationland this year. The chances of there being enough Beardies for a major -- or even one point -- hovered between zero and negative infinity. My friend Nancy, one of the deans of the local ring steward SWAT team, recruited me to join their ranks at Vacationland for my first solo adventure in stewarding.

Between them, Nancy and Susan (another long-time veteran ring steward) trained me to steward last summer. Nancy brought her famous "Ring Stewarding 101" class to one of our local kennel club's meetings, and then I observed Susan at the Topsfield shows after Beardie judging was done. I worked the ring with Susan and another trainee at the Lakes Region shows last July, and then worked my own ring at our club's fall B match. Nancy and Susan agreed that I'd served enough of an apprenticeship, and that it was time for me to run a ring of my very own. While standing in line to use a ladies' room at a function in Augusta this past winter, Nancy asked me to work a ring at Vacationland -- so the initiation began, and I received my ritual bag of rocks.

Nearly everyone who sees Nancy or Susan working a show ring remarks upon the cute bone-shaped stone paperweights they use to keep the various ribbons, armbands, books, programs, and other articles from flying off the table when the occasional breeze kicks up. Occasionally Susan has had to reclaim one of her paperweights from a judge who mistook them for trophies and was about to award them to a winner. Anyway, Nancy awarded me my very own bag of bone-shaped rocks as part of my stewarding kit. She arranged her stewards so that my ring would be next to Susan's in the event I needed expert help.

My very first judge was Ruth Zimmerman, who was unfailingly kind and encouraging to newbie stewards and exhibitors alike. Some of our breeds -- especially the toys -- had multiple dogs entered under one owner or handler, and we gave the exhibitors a chance to breathe between frantic dashes from the ring to switch dogs. Mrs. Zimmerman frequently gave me encouraging comments along the way: "You're really catching on," and "You're doing great at this." The show committee members came past frequently, offering up hot cups of Tim Horton's coffee and donuts. I owe Nancy one for pairing me with a patient and kindly judge for my first trip out -- and for making me my very own set of Official Stewards' Rocks.

After our duties were completed and our ring disassembled for Groups, I caught up with Val, Pat, and Traveler back at their booth. Val reported that Trav had seen me going back and forth to my ring, and had been concerned that I hadn't come in to see him. (Trav and I have a special relationship. We like to wrestle and talk like pirates together: "Arrrrrr. Arrrrrrr. Arrrrr.") I visited with Trav and reviewed his favorite letter of the alphabet ("Arrrrrr") before he went into the group ring. He made the first cut, but not the Final Four. I'm hoping he does better in Groups today.

I didn't have a lot of time to socialize yesterday, but Vacationland was just a nice, fun, intimate show with some very nice vendors. The show committee switched things up a bit by putting the show itself in the area where the parking had been in previous years, and putting parking where the show had been (and which we affectionately called "the swamp"). The rearrangement suited the show well, I think. The weather wasn't an issue this year and the swamp wasn't swampy, but the new layout worked nicely. I hope the club decides to stick with it for future shows if they go back to that venue. (Actually, I'm really hoping they'll cluster with our club at our site, but that remains to be discussed.)

Shout-Outs and Stuff

A quick shout-out to Steph and Bowie the Brittany: Did you guys make it to the show? I only saw two of my Brittany buddies there, but I was busy in my ring right up until the time Groups started.

Another shout-out to Barb Rimoshytus and Rio, whom I ran into just as Dinah and I were leaving the St. Hubert show in CT. Barb's been going through some stuff, so think good thoughts for her. Rio did magnificently -- I'm bad at quoting people, but I think he had at least one group placement that weekend. (Dinah got 2nd, not even Reserve. She was very, very uninterested in showing that weekend. Since she'd been showing the two weekends previous, she was feeling a little burnt-out. We had a nice little reunion with Auntie Kathy, Auntie Deb, Jake, and puppy grrrrl Diva, but that was about it. Dinah's never going to be one of those dogs on the dog show circuit, and that's fine with me.)

New Point Schedule, Same As the Old Schedule

The new point schedules always come out the week following the York County shows. I was just checking them before entering Dinah in the Penobscot Valley KC shows (our other supported entry this year). Here they are:

Bearded Collies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
1 point: 2 dogs 2 bitches
2 points: 3 dogs 4 bitches
3 points: 4 dogs 6 bitches
4 points: 5 dogs 7 bitches
5 points: 7 dogs 9 bitches

Good news for anyone showing the boys these days. I can't believe we still need to field 6 bitches for a major, though. I wish AKC had noticed how totally freakin' hard it was to get 6 Beardie bitches of any age anywhere last year, and would have cut us a break. At least for the boys' side, since there were hardly any boys showing in our area last year, at least they're making things easier for the crop of new puppies coming in this year.

Sigh.

What Not to Wear, Dog Show Edition

Junior handlers, avert your eyes now!



(Thanks to Dinah's breeder for sending me this one and making me almost spew my morning coffee.)

So Close, and Yet So Far Underwater

Dinah's other Auntie Kathy and Dinah romping in the swamp at YCKC

York County Kennel Club of Maine, 5/3-4, 2008
1/WB/BOW/BOS both days, 2 points

This business of chasing majors is as much an exercise in humility as it is an exercise in futility. Just when you think everything's in place and things are going to work exactly as you thought they would, the universe always finds a way to intervene and teach you a little lesson about excessive attachment. If there is a God, He must be a Buddhist.

Our kennel club was sooooo prepared. We had everything set up/swept/cleaned, the fairground plumbing had been fixed, all of our trophies and supplies had been collected and placed in the correct locations, and all appeared to be well. Even the local weather report called for partly-cloudy weather with sun in the afternoons -- not too hot, not too cold.

Our local Beardie club was similarly ready to get out there and have a good time. Our grooming area was staked out and set up, the Beardie Parking signs mounted, and the food and drinks and silent auction items were all ready. The Weathervane was prepared for the post-show onslaught of hungry exhibitors seeking lobsters and beer. Val had outdone herself painting piles of gorgeous trophies for both days of showing. Everybody baked cookies. We were primed.

However, the Weather Chair for the event must have fallen down on the job. Although nothing can equal the sheer, abject, freakin' shin-deep sucking misery of the Great Deluge of 2005, the stuff that Mother Nature sent us made us seriously question the entire concept of outdoor shows in Maine before Memorial Day. If this doesn't make us move our show date to later in the year, nothing will.

Saturday was the better of the two days. It rained most of the time, with a few brief periods of letup that enabled us to show between the raindrops (mostly). However, the clammy temperatures managed to get to us all eventually. Everyone who could do so sported extra layers of clothing, including hats and gloves. The husband of one of our out-of-state exhibitors kept nudging his wife and saying, "So this is that beautiful Maine weather you were raving so much about."

Worse still, just when we thought we had everything set up for our major in bitches, one of our out-of-staters admitted sheepishly that she'd forgotten her class bitch at home and had brought along one of the dogs instead -- and she'd only realized her entry mistake when she arrived at the show. It was too late to call Barbara down in Massachusetts and advise her to turn back, and there was no answer at her house when I called to ask for her cell number. Barbara arrived at the show after beating feet for 100 miles to make it in time, and I had to break the news to her.

I'm afraid that my initial response, upon hearing this news, may not be published in a family blog. The exhibitor in question was so sorry that we really couldn't beat her too hard for slipping up. After all, her bitch missed out on a chance at a major, too. It would have been Dinah's first, but it proved to be an exercise in letting go instead.

Not that we let that get in the way of our having what fun we could in the midst of a freezing swamp. After all, we had coffee and home-baked cookies and all of us together. With enough EZ-Ups and the semi-shelter of the barns over our heads, we were about as well set up as anyone at the show (except for the toy breeds showing indoors).

My friend Kathy had offered to show Dinah for me, since she said that her bitch special really wasn't into showing and was happy to attend as a retiree. I might otherwise have passed on entering Dinah in this show, since I had so many hats to wear as YCKC trophy chair/show committee member/BCCME member/cook and bottle washer that I don't think I sat down for more than 10 minutes both days. At least I kept somewhat warm that way.

Dinah and Kathy made a great team. It must be because she was born during a howling rainstorm off the west coast of Wales, but Dinah has always enjoyed showing in bad weather. If she were a horse, they'd call her a "mudder." She looked lovely, behaved beautifully for Auntie Kathy, and took Best of Opposite both days to Lucy's magnificent Christopher. Chris went on to get group placements both days, and Lucy's daughter Anna got Best Junior in Show on Saturday. I felt terrible for Val and Pat, though -- Trav didn't get any love from the judges, and they went home wet and discouraged. (Rarely do Dinah and Trav do well at the same shows. The judges who like his type don't like hers, and the judges who like her type don't give him any joy.)

On Sunday, the skies just opened, and the day consisted of one long downpour punctuated by short bursts of light rain. Our ring had been moved indoors to one of the barns -- fortunately, within Beardie-lugging distance of our grooming area. Although the ring was so small that only the puppies had a chance to take more than two strides at a trot, at least we were out of the rain and the cold for a few minutes. (The EMTs kept good-naturedly inviting us down to hang out in the ambulance, where it was nice and warm.)

There will be pictures -- fortunately, those were taken semi-indoors as well, since the nice outdoor area that the photographers had picked ended up being unusable fairly early on in the show. Dinah was not happy about having to stand still and be brushed, but we're hoping they come out. Kathy and I kept doing a Chip-and-Dale routine of "you first -- no, you." Eventually we managed to get everyone into the picture who was supposed to be there -- including Dinah.

In spite of the stinkin' weather and the busted major, quite a lot went right with the show. Our caterer for the staff and the judges, bless her heart, served hot soup and hot entrees both days -- and there was always plenty of coffee. Everybody held it together, and the post-show dinner at The Weathervane was convivial -- and dry. The judges had such a good time at their dinner that (as I heard it) most of them just didn't want to leave. The one thing I know I got right was that the two Best Juniors were tickled to bits to have won grooming tackle boxes instead of more stuff they'd have to dust. Sometimes it pays to ask actual juniors what they want to win, and not just the girls.

I have yet to hear whether we made any money, or even broke even. The couple of vendors I talked to actually did an okay business on Saturday, but were eager to beat it out of there on Sunday. At least we can all brag about having survived another year.

When It Was a Game (Newbie Edition)

Apple Valley Rat Terrier Club, Westfield, MA
4/26-27, 2008
3 BOBs, Group 3, 85 points and one major

If you hang around the grooming tent long enough, you're bound to hear the old-timers waxing nostalgic for the "good old days" of dog showing. The sun was always shining, the judges were always fair and knew a good dog when they saw one, and all of the dogs and their owners were of better quality then. Why, to hear it told, every dog show looked like a Merchant-Ivory production minus Helena Bonham Carter. You have to hand it to the "good old days." Whatever realm they exist in, they always look shiniest when viewed through the scrim of a few decades' worth of nostalgia.

However, if there were a place on earth where you can revisit those "good old days" of dog showing, it would be at a UKC show. Compared to the highly organized and formal nature of an AKC show, UKC shows seem so relaxed and informal -- more like B matches with points than actual competition.

If, like us, you've spent all your show time at AKC shows, the informal character of a UKC show might even be confusing at first. Day-of-show entries? People building the rings before your eyes? Everyone cracking jokes with the judges -- in the ring? No hairspray? No brushes in the ring? No trophies? What kind of a dog show is this, anyway?

Two other things I found remarkable about the UKC shows: the huge number of juniors participating, and the number of rare breeds. The shows we attended happened to be hosted by a Rat Terrier club, so there were many Ratties in attendance who barked furiously every time someone walked by their vehicles. We also saw a Leonberger, three Bergamascos, and an amazing number of northern/spitz-type breeds I had never even seen before and can't identify without a much bigger breed book than the one I have now.

I don't especially like children (aside from my niece and nephew and my best girlfriend's daughter), but I lovelovelove junior handlers. They're always kind, polite, well-spoken kids whose parents deserve credit for recognizing the value of early socialization for both puppies and children. I enjoyed the heck out of the passel of juniors at the show, particularly the bunch with the Aussies. One of the Aussie crew, who came very close to taking a couple of Best in Shows, dropped by the barn to talk shop with me. It was an absolute blast to trade notes on movement with an 11-year-old who knew twice as much about the subject as I did. She admired Dinah's movement and asked to go over her. Her dog, Austin, was perfectly trained to respond to her in the ring -- and he never once lost focus. He wasn't the best-moving Aussie out there (which she herself admitted), but the two of them made such a great team that it was no wonder they picked up so many Group Firsts. They don't do obedience or canine freestyle, but they really ought to. The two of them are amazingly well synchronized; watching them show is like watching a dance routine.

Her mother, and some of the other parents of juniors at the show, raved about how much UKC supports the development of juniors and the family nature of dog events. At every show, juniors show first. This allows everyone who wants to, to watch the juniors in the ring before regular showing begins. In addition, juniors who are showing in the regular classes have time to get through Junior Showmanship before having to skedaddle to their respective breed rings, instead of having to juggle two show schedules at a time as they do at AKC shows. The relaxed environment of UKC shows adds to the supportive nature of showing in that venue, too.

Lots of kids, no professionals... this really does sound a lot like the "good old days." Still no sign of Helena Bonham Carter, though.

Larger shows probably run a little bit differently, but the rest of this event ran in a simple, logical manner. Each group was assigned to one ring for the entire weekend, and the judges rotated to different rings. Judges judge entire groups, first in their respective breed classes, and then in the corresponding group competitions. As in Canadian shows, the breeds within each group show in alphabetical order. The classes have different names, but work much the same way they do in AKC shows: puppies through Open, dogs before bitches. Because Dinah is just two years old, she showed in Senior (Youngster). The Open classes are for adult dogs over three years of age. Each breed judging even includes the Champion and Grand Champion classes before choosing Best of Breed.

Thankfully, I wasn't the only UKC Newbie there. Quite a few other people were attending their first UKC shows also, and we tried to pool our newbie resources to figure out points and navigate the rules. I shared a grooming space with a congenial owner of an English Cocker and a Tibetan Spaniel. The show was intimate enough that we had an entire grooming barn to ourselves, so we parked our Subaru Foresters nose-to-nose and set up around our cars inside the barn. Every time one of us came back from the ring, we clustered around our pooled collection of printouts from the UKC Web site to try and figure out where we stood, and to compare newbie notes. Go Team Newbie!

Like APDT rally trials, UKC shows are set up so that you can in theory (with enough competition) earn a CH in a weekend by showing in two shows a day, each day. In AKC, you're used to putting all your work and energy behind your one show per day. You go out there, do your very best, and then you either go on to groups or you're done for the day. However, at a UKC event, you have to do your best and go on to groups in two shows per day. The thing we found hardest about the experience was remaining fresh and alert for that second show each day. Seamus and I learned to overcome that in APDT rally trials. With practice, Dinah and I will figure out how to shine in two UKC shows in a day.

Unlike AKC shows, though, you can be the only representative of your breed and still be able to get credit for showing. It means that you have to earn the minimum of a Group Three to get credit for competition, but at least you're not wholly dependent on the number of other representatives of your breed to show up. There were three times as many Bergamascos as Beardies at this particular show -- funny thing to contemplate. Dinah did the "flirtation dance" for the male Bergamasco, but she performed the same dance for one of the white Standard Poodles and the red Border Collie. (Those boys must have been pretty special, especially the Poodle. Dinah prefers to flirt with Beardies, and apparently Bergamascos count.)

In spite of my usual stage fright and a wind that turned Dinah into a mop in the ring, we acquitted ourselves fairly well for the weekend. She picked up three BOBs and a Group Three. The Group Three constituted a major for Dinah because she beat the dog who picked up the Group Four -- and that counts as competition. I particularly liked that the judge referred to her as "my Beardie" when she placed her in the group ring. We almost picked up a second Group Three at the show, but one of the other judges sneaked both Corgis ahead of us at the last minute. We had been placed in front of a magnificent Beauceron whom I adored. In that competition, Irene and one of the Bergamasco girls took the Group One, not a minute after she whispered to me, "Ah, we won't do anything in here."

To become a UKC Champion, you need 100 points and three majors. To the best of the collective reckoning of all of us UKC Newbies, Dinah has 85 points and one major. Grand Champions require five majors, but I forget if additional points are also required.

Dinah and I were so fried after Show Number Three that neither of us could focus well enough to face going back for a fourth time. After the third show, she popped back into her crate in the car and plopped down, sighing, for an immediate nap. I didn't have the heart to make her go back out there again when she was so tired, and I was getting rather close to walking on my knees and talking gibberish myself. I went back to the club table, pulled our fourth entry, and brought us home instead.

So... we didn't finish our UKC Championship in one weekend as Maryann did, but no problem. This just means that we have to go back and enjoy ourselves at another UKC show (or shows) this year. Aw, shucks.

Oh Say, Can UKC?

Just before last year's Mohegan Sun shows, my friend Debbie (the one who owns Moxie) asked me if I were attending the lunch with the gang after the show. I hadn't heard a word about it, which is how I replied to her. Turns out that the owner of one of the specials, who has always been rather unnecessarily snippy with me, set up a luncheon for "owner-handlers only." Although all the attendees are friends of mine, I wasn't invited because Kathy shows Dinah for me. The organizer even went so far to explain that I hadn't been invited on purpose, for just that reason. She's had a hair across you-know-where ever since Dinah, as a 10-month-old puppy, beat her adult in the ring with me on the lead.

Sometimes the bitches at dog shows aren't the female canines.

Anyway, I haven't given up on the idea of learning to owner-handle entirely. Although all of the big guns and the prestige are in the AKC world, the United Kennel Club (UKC) is nearly as old and has just as long a tradition of conformation and performance events. Since UKC conformation is coming to Maine sometime and there are more such events in new England, I've taken the bait and registered Dinah with UKC. We've signed up for a show in Massachusetts next week, and are going there for the fun of it.

We're both rusty. Whatever happens with clumsy, bumbling me on the other end of the leash, it'll be good practice for Dinah.

I asked my friend Maryann about UKC. She showed her youngest boy in that venue last year and got his CH in a weekend. She's an experienced and successful breeder-owner-handler in AKC, and UKC lacks the "edge" for her that AKC competition provides. It's a great place for dufuses like me to do some handling, though, since UKC requires every dog to be owner-handled. UKC also has some other requirements I like: no overgrooming, chalk, or hairspray, and you can't use bait in the ring. (Dinah might not be thrilled about that last part, though.)

And Awayyyy We Go!

It happens like this every year: months of nothing, nothing, nothing when it comes to dog showing, and then all of a sudden -- BAM! Everything starts to happen at once. It's not that there's nothing to say during our "off season," but there's less to report because we're not showing.

Now that it's April, entries are open for the May shows. This coming Wednesday, I can even enter one for June 1. We won't be entering nearly as many shows now that all Dinah needs are her majors, but the ones we will enter should be good ones (if the majors don't break).

Speaking of broken majors, we received some good news/bad news about the York County shows coming up. YCKC is my local kennel club, and I'm on the show committee this year. I'm going to be freaky busy, and wasn't even going to enter Dinah until my friend Kathy offered to show her for me. (Different Kathy. "Our" Kathy, Dinah's handler, will be equally freaky busy at the Newfie National that week, so she can't show Dinah. Kathy-the-handler has so many dogs to show that she has one full-time and one part-time helper to help bathe and groom Newfies for the ring. Yowza!)

Here's the good news: We actually have enough bitches for a major on that Saturday! Hallelujah! I don't know how we managed to pull it off, but we did. Must have been the mention of the post-show lobster party that got people going.

The bad news is, I know that the major is going to break, and my hopes along with it. The owner of one of the bitches entered has a litter of baby pups at home. They'll be a week old tomorrow. Even though she entered one of the girls, she won't want to come to the show. All of the people she would trust to litter-sit will be at the show, and she won't want to bring home any possible bugs from the show to the puppies.

I would do the same thing if I were in her position -- stay home and feel bad about it -- but we were so close there! The first major in Beardies in Maine in possibly forever, and it's broken. BAH!

My friend Kathy will still show Dinah for me. Gracious soul that she is, she actually decided not to enter her bitch special (who went BOS last year to the magnificent Christopher) so she could show Dinah. Dinah needs the practice after taking an extended winter off. Our grrrlfriend Moxie only needs majors as well, but Debbie's bringing her anyway. We can commiserate about the broken major over a beer at The Weathervane after the show.

Entries in shows have decreased markedly, at least in this region if not all over the country. Much of that has to do with gas prices and the increase in cost of everything related to showing. Every year, the AKC releases the new point schedules for breed/region in mid-May. I wonder whether the number of Beardies to make a major will decrease this year to match the lower entries. For us, the YCKC show is the last show of the year where the old entry numbers still apply. We would have had a major last year if the show had only taken place after the middle of May.


Another Belated Shout-Out

...to Steph and Bowie. Bowie is Steph's Brittany puppy, and he appears to be growing up nicely. Go ahead and enter him in Vacationland, Steph. Even the most die-hard competitors in the breed are almost always gentle, gracious, and helpful with exhibitors in the puppy class. You could even persuade some friendly soul to go over him and tell you about his good points and bad points, and the best ways to accentuate the positive in the show ring.

It was at Vacationland 2006 where Judie went over Dinah at our second-ever show and did the same for me. We see each other at shows occasionally still, and I'll always owe her a debt of gratitude for telling me some truths about my dog and the realities of showing her. (She said some very, very nice things about Dinah, and warned me more about what competition with her would be like. It came true in some unexpected ways.)

Sister Act

Congratulations to the beauteous Buffy Burfitt (CZ and SK CH Breaksea November Mist, bunch of European performance titles after her name) for receiving her Czech Championship title, second CACIB (challenge certificate) and National Winner designation at the most recent show she attended. No one on earth works as hard with training and showing as Buffy's mom Jana, and both of them deserve a tremendous amount of credit. Well done, Buffy and Jana! You've done the family proud.

Pass the Ketchup...

...it's time to observe another historic ritual of the dog-showing season: the Eating of the Entries. At least entries don't have any calories, dammit.

Our latest $60 snack comes from the Springfield shows happening the first weekend of April. Last year, there were majors both days. We knew going in that most of the big guns would be showing in North Carolina at the regional down there instead, but we had hoped there would be more stay-at-homes than there actually were. I'm genuinely happy for the nice folks in the Carolinas Bearded Collie Club that they're drawing people for their show -- and it should be a very nice show indeed -- but it does mean that those entries had to come from somewhere.

Now that Dinah has 14 points and needs her two majors, it's likely that we'll be eating a lot of entries this year, or not entering shows where the likelihood of majors is iffy. Last year, we'd enter if there were a slight possibility of enough bitch entries. This year, not so much. If we're not reasonably certain that enough dogs will show up, we won't enter -- and if we do enter and there aren't enough entries, we won't go.

In a way, it's a shame -- the shows least likely to command majors are the ones we really enjoy. Those include the smaller outdoor shows put on by our local kennel clubs, most of the shows in Fitchburg (where Dinah shows well), and pretty much anything that we can day-trip to. With the cost of gas and the cost of entries and the cost of freakin' everything else, we're going to have to rethink the concept of "entering just for the fun of it."

(Not that I myself will be missing out on those shows, mind you. The local stewards all know I'm not showing at the smaller shows, and already I'm starting to field requests to play ring steward anyplace where we're not entered. I fly solo for the first time at the Vacationland shows in mid-May. If you're in my ring, be gentle with me.)

I'd much rather enter a show where we can have fun. Some of my friends who have been showing for a long time speak wistfully of days when everybody would group together to build majors in their breeds, and they lament the lack of esprit de corps among exhibitors these days. I'm not sure it's so much that people are only in it for themselves as that gas was under $1 a gallon in those "good old days" of fairly recent memory. People could afford to enter more shows, even if just to do a friend a favor.

For Dinah and me, this also means that we'll be doing much of our showing this season in Springfield. Springfield has never been good to us, and my heart sinks just a little every time I enter a show there. Dinah doesn't like it there, and even on the days when she shows well, we have never, ever, ever won. Really, I don't think it's my attitude -- even when we're excited, happy, and she's doing well in the ring... we always, always get skunked. After last Thanksgiving's cluster, I'd be happy if I never saw the freakin' place again, and she showed as well as she ever has there.

The hardest part for me about signing up for an inevitable disappointment in Springfield is that it's easy to throw away $300+ on a single weekend. Even when trying to travel on the cheap, you still have to enter the show at close to $30 a pop, feed the car and yourself, pay the turnpike tolls, get a hotel room for the weekend (and we can't really share; Dinah just wants to play with the other Beardie all night -- especially if we room with Traveler), pay for the parking permit or the daily fees, pay the groomer or buy the supplies to do it yourself, and pay the handler or do it yourself. I have a good job, but we're not rich. When we don't come home with anything, we have essentially just blown hundreds of dollars and a weekend's worth of time.

Sometimes it makes you wonder whether the people who go to casinos and gamble for fun are really all that much crazier than we are. Dog showing even makes golf look like a bargain-priced sport. Some days I think that maybe a crack addiction would be cheaper.

The fun doesn't end with a dog's AKC championship, either. Know all those Multiple Best in Show winners you see strutting around the ring on TV? See all of the camera cuts to the wealthy celebrities sitting in the grandstand? It's not a coincidence that those fantastic winning dogs belong to people who are oozing money. It takes a lot of that old ooze to get a renowned handler for a well-bred dog and to send that dog on many, many road trips. Some dogs live with their handlers until they retire from showing, and don't think for a minute that the in-between-show conditioning/grooming/feeding/boarding is exactly a pro bono on the part of the handler. That's overtime work. Even though most handlers are careful to keep the financial outlay at a reasonable level, a small expense here and a small expense there do eventually add up to a bankroll. That's why the top show dogs have sponsors, whether corporate or simply a cooperative of individual co-owners who share the financial part of campaigning a winner. There are top-ranking dogs who belong to middle-class owners and owner-handlers, but the percentage is definitely lower.

Now, just consider how much fun it is to enter a show against a well-financed dog and a well-known handler. Dog showing is a democratic sport; you can show against that handler and beat him or her, but just as easily (or, arguably, a lot more easily when you're showing to a "face judge"), you can flush another few hundred of your own harder-earned bucks down the drain. I've waved bye-bye to my share, and then some.

Some friends of mine, with a great dog and a modest income, have decided to campaign their dog themselves on a limited basis, simply because their handler isn't as famous as the handlers she's competing against, and they're having trouble voluntarily flushing extra money down the drain for essentially the same results. At a certain level of competition, the dogs themselves cease to matter, and the "face judges" would be more honest if they would just examine the handlers' teeth instead. (If you don't believe me, watch a televised dog show sometime. When the winning dog gets picked, just listen to who gets the glory and the credit. "What a great day for handler Highpower Fancypants!") Small wonder most people stop showing after their dogs finish.

Will I campaign Dinah after we reach the magic CH? I'd actually like to, in spite of all my ranting above. Once the almighty quest for majors is over, we no longer have to limit ourselves to those few shows where we might see the requisite number of other dogs. We can stay the heck away from Springfield if we want to. We can even just show at all of the lovely, local, congenial outdoor shows that we have to pass by while we're still showing in the classes. At that point, we really can go to dog shows for the fun of it again. Kathy and I can get a little sun, enjoy the fresh air, and enjoy freshly charred fairground food for lunch instead of microwaved fairground food.

Conformation showing is not the only money sink in all of the dog world, though you rarely see bejeweled celebrities gathered in the mud and the rain to watch their dogs herd sheep. I was talking at an agility trial with a teacher who planned to delay her retirement as long as possible because she knew she wouldn't be able to afford to trial once she left full-time work. Don't even get me started on herding. When I was new to showing, I was thrilled to discover that a conformation entry cost about half the price of a herding trial entry, and you were guaranteed a spot in the show if you entered by noon on the closing date. "Luxury!" I thought. "Conformation people have it soooo easy."

I've had another freelance column in the works for quite a while now with the pets area of MaineToday.com, the online version of the Portland newspaper (no link because my stuff isn't up yet). It will be called "Dog Showing 101" -- yeah, I know that's not exactly an original name, but you wouldn't believe the number of search engine hits this blog gets for that very phrase. Anyway, at some point, I intend to publish a column on the subject of dog showing for cheapskates, in which I share some of the ways fellow exhibitors try to pare down the costs of dog showing.

If you have any cost-saving tips you'd like to pass on to a Dog Show Newbie, please leave a comment or send an email. You could end up in the funny papers!

Almost That Time Again...

Okay, the first entries are done. I've marked the calendars, arranged for a hotel room, and am planning to do the equipment inventory any time now. My friend Val has asked when I'd like to bring Dinah by for another four-step beauty treatment. We may still have three feet of snow on the ground, but when I let the dogs out for their first biology break of the day, I can hear birds singing.

Oh, it's almost that time again. It's almost dog-show season!

Hard to believe that the Princess and I haven't done the weekend grind since last November, when we showed at the Thanksgiving Cluster out in Springfield and came home disappointed. I'd be lying if I said I missed it, and I'd be lying double if I said I didn't.

This season's "shakedown cruise" starts on the 5th and 6th of April, out in Springfield. It's not our favorite venue, but we're going to have to learn to like it since the vast majority of majors are there (what few we have, that is). Since there's a regional specialty in NC on the same dates, all the heavy hitters (and thus most of the entries) will be down there that weekend. Even if we don't get enough competition to make a major, we can still use the practice. Dinah will be so psyched to see Auntie Kathy again!

Would you believe I've already made arrangements for both National Specialties (US and Canadian)? The competition for rooms is so fierce that the hotels often sell out on the first day. I've reserved rooms for both shows and was lucky to get just what I wanted. Although I'm not 100% confident we'll make the US National, at least Kathy and I will both have someplace to sleep if we do go. As soon as the information is available for the Great Lakes club's regional, I'll be calling that hotel, too!

Now all we need are decent entries (and decent weather) for both of BCCME's supported entries this year: at the YCKC show on May 3-4, and at the PVKC show on June 21-22. My steward buddies are keenly aware that my girl is "pointed out," and have been secretly penciling my name in on calendar dates for shows that have low numbers of Beardie entries. I've already been asked to steward at the Vacationland shows. At least their head steward actually asked me first. I will probably be dragooned into stewarding at YCKC, if only because the chief steward doesn't understand the meaning of "no."

Still Another Public Service Announcement

On April 6, 2008, the Kennebec Valley Shetland Sheepdog Club (KVSSC) is offering conformation handling instruction in small groups, followed by run-throughs. You can even win a gift basket by entering the run-throughs!)

The morning group class runs from 9-10:30 AM and costs $5.

The run-throughs take place from 10:45 AM until noon and cost $5.

Location: the Buker School Gymnasium, Capitol St., Augusta, Maine

Registration in advance of each event.

Directions: From the north or south on I-95, take exit 109 for Augusta. Bearing right off the exit (17E) on Western Ave. Proceed through three traffic lights to intersection with Armory on left. At that 4th light take a right onto Capitol St. and take your first right into Buker School. Parking is down on the right and enter through the gymnasium entrance.

Chair: Please contact Phyllis Spires (207-474-3766) or Colleen Golding (207-453-2631) woodlandfarm@ prexar.com for more information.

Jog-a-Dog

Okay, I admit it. I used to laugh like crazy at some of the videos shown between group competitions during the TV broadcasts of Westminster, Eukanuba, and other big dog shows. In particular, I'd point and giggle at the videos showing top show dogs jogging on their very own doggie treadmills in order to stay in shape for the show season. "Geez!" I'd exclaim. "What kind of fanatic do you have to be in order to put your dog on the treadmill instead of yourself?!"

Well, after the winter we've had, I'm beginning to come around to the idea. One might think that weekly agility classes would help keep both of us in shape, but that assumes that class hasn't been canceled because of snow. I think we've had more snowstorms than we have had classes this year!

We do own a (human) treadmill, but for reasons I just can't get into, I refuse to use it. Let's just say that exercising over at the town dump -- er, I mean transfer station -- would be a neater and more aesthetically pleasing experience. I even went out and bought a membership at the new gym in the next town, but they aren't even opening their doors until April.

The plain fact is, we're both out of shape. With the dog showing season more or less right around the corner, we have some catching up to do. We can't really run around outside -- Dinah's less than 2 feet high, and we still have 3 feet of snow on the ground (and we used to have 4!). I can put on snowshoes, but I'd lose Dinah in the snow. Walking on the side of the road is dangerous on a good day; the roads are narrow, the snowbanks are still above my head, and the drivers are crazy and inattentive. We'd get wiped out at some corner by the next pickup-truck-load of teenyboppers before you could say "oops."

At least now that we're into Daylight Savings Time, we might be able to get down to the beach during daylight, even on a work day. All we have to do is get there at low tide.

It doesn't so much matter whether I'm in shape for dog showing, but I sure could stand to lose some (more than some) poundage and build up my stamina for agility. Dinah needs to lose a little and to firm up after a winter of limited activity. If we hope to finish the girlie, she needs to be in condition! We don't have room for a Jog-a-Dog in the house, not even if we placed it right next to the other treadmill. Too bad, really -- we could jog together!

Still Another Public Service Announcement

If you live in the Topsham area, you're in luck, too. Thanks to Downeast Dog News for this one. Sorry, but this is all of the information I have.

New handling classes are starting in Topsham in mid-March (hey, that's Saturday!). Call 207-442-0190 for more information.

All in the Family

We're proud to report that Dinah's grandfather Tolly, otherwise known as Diotima Sea Wolf at Ramsgrove, won Best of Breed and the Challenge certificate (CC) at the Crufts Dog Show this past week. Tolly is a Champion in Finland, Sweden, and Norway, and the CC is one step toward his UK Championship. Congratulations to Tolly and "great-gramma" Wendy!

The Breaksea clan acquitted themselves pretty well at the show. Dinah's half-brother Sweep (Breaksea Masquerade) took 2nd in his class (Undergraduate Dog). Arty (Breaksea Allegro JW ShCM) took 3rd in Limit Dog. Dinah's dad Danny (Breaksea Evolution) took VHC in the same class. (Please don't ask me to explain the English system. I don't understand it even one tiny bit; I just cheer when any of our kinfolks win.)

In the Bitch classes, Dinah's grandmother and Danny's mom, Phoebe (CH Breaksea Imagine) took 2nd in Veteran Bitch, and Katy (CH Breaksea Devil in Disguise at Nellbrook) took VHC in that class. Finally, Dinah's aunt and Danny's sister Ellie (Breaksea Immortality) took 2nd in Limit Bitch. Congratulations to everybody, especially "grandpa" Alan and "grandma" Gill, Dinah's breeders!

If you think Westminster's huge, you really ought to see Crufts -- heck, I really ought to see Crufts! The show spreads out over 7 (!) buildings, and includes competitions and demonstrations of nearly every dog activity on earth in addition to conformation showing. The show is so big that it has its own bank and Post Office, medical center, and lost children's area. Oh, and did I mention the shopping?! Crufts is legendary for the quantity and quality of vendors for nearly every canine-related product on the planet. This year they've even set up multiple blogs and a Twitter feed! (Boy, I wonder if any of my publications would send me on a press junket to blog Crufts!!)

Another Public Service Announcement

If you live in the Kittery, Maine area, read on. Otherwise, feel free to skip this posting.

On Thursday, April 3, from 6-8 PM, Kittery Adult Education is offering a class on dog showing, both conformation and obedience. For the conformation part of the program, Karen Bruno (who grooms and handles Cocker Spaniels and Australian Terriers) will talk about dog shows and breeding. For the obedience part, obedience instructor Sue Walsh (who shows Cocker Spaniels in obedience) will speak about training and showing in obedience.

Cost: $10 for Kittery residents, $12 for non-residents.

To register, call 207-439-5896.

So a Funny Thing Happened...

Remember last week when I was called in to consult on a very delicate topic for Ask Dog Lady? Well, things get even better from there.

I did know that Ask Dog Lady was syndicated -- unlike yours truly, Monica the Dog Lady is a real, honest-to-goodness journalist -- but I had no idea how many papers run the column. Of course I saw the version on her Web site. When she sent me the link to the version on the Chicago Sun-Times' Web site, I was pleased. I also thought that was the end of it.

Next thing I knew, I received an email from David Simmons, a fellow Beardie owner who also happens to work at the same company I do. "YOU have been blogged," said the subject line. His email pointed me to an entry in his blog. It seems he saw this version of the Ask Dog Lady column in a Waltham, MA paper -- and he's in NC! Another friend from Salem, OR picked up the same article on Google Alerts and shared the link with the BeardieList. The whole thing is mushrooming -- wow! Monica never told me just how famous she is -- but I must admit I'm enjoying the ride on her coattails!

Wouldn't it just figure, though, that my 15 minutes of fame would be spent discussing dog poop?

A Couple of Related Shout-Outs

I had the pleasure of talking today with Bianca, a fourth-year journalism student at Northeastern -- so a shout-out goes to her. Bianca keeps a blog for her class, and she contacted me to talk after interviewing Monica. Monica suggested she talk to me next. (Thanks again and another shout-out to Monica for that!)

We talked about a variety of subjects ranging from old media to new media, from blogs to dogs to Web design to usability. I hope I answered her questions adequately, and that she has a good time writing the article. Thanks, Bianca!

Also... thanks too to Izzy Forman of 360i for sending me this Westminster-related video from Petside.com.

Dog Show People: A Field Guide

Someone posted this to the Beardie List this morning. I couldn't help but chuckle -- so you enjoy, too.

Dog Show People -- A Field Guide

This is Another Public Service Announcement

I read the Google search phrases, and I know you've been asking, so...

Show Handling Classes in Westbrook, ME

Saccarappa Obedience Club is offering Show Handling classes with Penny Cary starting on Thursday, March 13. Class sessions run for 6 weeks, and are held at the Westbrook Armory, Westbrook, ME. For more information or to register, call Evelyn at (207) 284-4093.

Penny's Web site lists the different classes she teaches around southern Maine and the different session dates.

Show Handling Classes in Raymond, NH

Bo-Gee is offering show handling classes with Patricia Barrett on Thursday evenings at 7:30 PM, starting March 6. the course runs 6 weeks. If space is available, drop-ins are welcome at a cost of $15 per dog.

See Bo-Gee's Web site for all the details.

Show Handling Workshop in Lincolnville, ME on March 16

Sue Morlan, who is a UKC (United Kennel Club) conformation judge, is offering a workshop on show handling at Wag It! Sports Camp in Lincolnville. FMI, email Sumac or visit Wag It's Web site.

Show Handling Classes in Bangor, ME

The Penobscot Valley Kennel Club offers show handling classes at Pet Quarters on Stillwater Avenue in Bangor. Price: $7.00 per class.

Private Show Handling Classes in Kennebunk, ME

Tracy Shaw is offering private handling classes at Diamond Dream Dog Center in Kennebunk, ME starting on March 7. Send her an email or call 207-985-6985 to set something up.

Dinah and I took group handling classes with Tracy, and we learned a lot. We also met fellow show people from the area and created an instant cheering section for all of the dogs in the class! Of course, we went on to work with Kathy later on, but our early training in the class was invaluable for both of us.

Westminster: It Ain't for Sissies

Congratulations to Uno the Beagle and everyone else who won at Westminster! I've recorded both nights of the show to my TiVo, and will enjoy them at my leisure soon. I came down with yet another nasty wintertime virus this week, and I've just been too slothful and stuffy-headed to enjoy much of anything aside from hot tea.

Dinah and I didn't attend the show this year. We didn't win anything big enough in the past year to merit an invitation, plus there's the pesky issue of those two crummy majors standing between us and getting Dinah finished. (Only champions of record are allowed to compete at Westminster.)

I know no one who reads this blog would ever think so, but there are folks who think that the show is nothing more than a bunch of overgroomed pooches and their equally overgroomed handlers prancing around a ring, pretending that they're doing something important. Those folks must have visions of these dogs and their handlers being whisked everywhere in gleaming black limousines tricked out with pink satin pillows. The truth is, though, that showing at Westminster is about as big a test of endurance for both dog and human as one can find in the dog-showing world.

Westminster is a benched show, one of the few such shows left in the entire country. Benched shows hearken back to the early days of dog showing, and to livestock shows before them. At a benched show, you and your dog are expected to remain in the benching area for a specified length of time. The public is able to come by to see the dogs up close and talk to their owners and handlers, and they can see a number of dogs of each breed all together in their various benching areas.

What they don't tell you -- at least, until you read all the rules in the premium list -- is that you're not allowed to leave the building with your dog between early in the morning and late in the evening -- as if there were someplace else you cold go anyway. The benching areas themselves are almost (but not quite) big enough if you're showing Chihuahuas, but if you have a large dog with a correspondingly large crate, you will have to stand for the whole time you're there. You're not allowed to have chairs. You can even hire security guards to watch over your dog, your crate, and your stuff while you answer nature's call. If that doesn't already sound like more fun than you can possibly stand, remember that the show is held in Madison Square Garden in February. The doors are closed, the heat's on, and there isn't a blade of grass for miles around. You can just imagine what the place smells like.

Oh, and did I mention the crowds? How many times can you repeat, "No, this is a Bearded Collie. The Old English Sheepdogs are over there. Yes I do know that it doesn't look at all like Lassie. Yes, my dog can see just fine. Yes, I do have to brush her a lot." I can see where throat lozenges and bottled water might be precious commodities after a few hours of that.

Let's face it, the benching area is a rough place to spend a day, or even two. Having to stay on display in the benching area for hours before and hours after you show is a real strain on both your dog and you, and you both deserve a ginormous amount of credit if you can get through all that and still find the energy to make a decent showing in the ring. They should give out survival awards to every entrant.

Why do it, then? Westminster is the Big One, the longest-running dog show in the country, the Great Kahuna of Shows. If you and your dog are tough enough to take the strain, you'll meet up with some of the winningest dogs in the country and some of the biggest names in dogdom, living legends and legends-in-the-making. A breed win there, or an Award of Merit, is a singular honor -- and a group placement guarantees you a place in Westminster history.

We've never had occasion to show in a benched show. As I said above, there aren't very many of them left in the country, and it's possible that Westminster is the closest benched show to where we live. Would we go if we could? I honestly don't know. I guess we have to finish first and then see what happens.

Just for fun, here are a couple of entertaining links to posts about the Westminster show:

A non-show spectator's view of the 2005 show

Westminster 101, from someone who has exhibited there multiple times

The #1 Authority on #2

Do you have a dog-related question? At a loss for what to do in a dog-related situation, or just curious about something on the subject of dogs? You can always turn to Ask Dog Lady for advice that is both humorous and helpful. Her Web site design is certifiably Wicked Sharp as well.

Imagine my pleasure when I found an email from her in my inbox this afternoon. She had received a question from a reader on the subject of dogs eliminating during a dog show. My reply, and her column on that delicate subject, appear on the home page of Ask Dog Lady. It's a timely query, considering that the Westminster Kennel Club show takes place over the next two days, and the groups are broadcast on Monday and Tuesday evenings on the USA Network and CNBC. Best in Show takes place on Tuesday night immediately after group judging.

Dinah in the Snow